Getting married is probably the best day of every person’s life, but sometimes fairytales come to an end. Did you know that about 40% of the first marriages end in divorce? That number is 60% for the second marriage and more than 70% of third marriages end in divorce!
These statistics are pretty scary and no one plans to just end things with the person they once vowed to spend their whole life together. But why do divorces happen?
Here we are going to look at the top reasons why couples decide to split up once and for good and why do marriages fail.
This is one of the top reasons why marriages fail. Even though we think that love is something that can conquer all and that no matter the money, people are strong enough to make it true, in most cases money is a reason for divorce.
Not having money is one thing, but having a spouse who spends money you don’t have and puts the whole family in debt is another. When one person spends too much and the other one tries too hard to provide more the marriage, is more often than not, doomed.
2. Lack of intimacy
It is said that after you get into a serious relationship or after you get married, the connection between the partners moves from physical connection to a deeper and more spiritual kind of love.
However, that does not mean that there should be no intimate connection and more often than not that becomes an issue in the marriage.
When the small intimacy acts or the whole physical contact goes away, both partners may feel rejected and can lead to a complete break in the marriage.
When the lack of intimacy appears, some partners may go and look for that physical connection with another person without trying to resolve the issues they have at home.
Sooner or later, infidelity usually catches up with the person who cheated and that leads to serious issues and a possible divorce.
Even if the marriage survives, it will be forever changed and the trust can never be regained. People cheat for a lot of reasons the top being:
- Anger and resentment
- Low self-esteem
- Lack of intimacy
This is probably the strongest reason why someone should file for divorce. No matter if it is physical, emotional or financial abuse, people should never stay in a marriage that is hurting them.
Yelling, neglect, constant displays of anger, withholding money, vulgar comments, and other negative displays can be classified as abuse.
O’Sullivan Mediation suggests that sometimes a marriage may just be going through a rough patch, and any abuse may be out of character. In cases like this, counseling might be appropriate with the goal of repairing a marriage.
5. Lack of compatibility
When people get married, they think they are just two peas in a pod, but as time goes on, they realize that they might be more different than they thought.
You should know that if the differences between you and your spouse are minor or about things that are not fundamentally important, you should try and work the marriage out.
Things like the coffee you want or the soap you use are not reasons for divorce. Change is natural and even if you wanted one thing when you were young, your views and opinions may change in time.
However, the lack of compatibility may lead to a lot of arguments and end up in divorce.
6. Physical appearance
Ending a marriage because your spouse’s physical appearance changed may sound shallow, superficial, and unfair, but there are a lot of marriages that end because of this reason.
People want to have attractive spouses and when the partner’s body changes because of some reasons over time, they feel less attracted to them.
This may lead to a lack of intimacy or even infidelity. In some cases, when a spouse loses a lot of weight, they may become interested in other people, besides their spouse, because their self-confidence levels go up.
When someone mentions addictions the first things that pop into anyone’s mind are drugs and alcohol. You should know that there are many different types of addictions.
Gambling, pornography, uncontrollable spending, and infidelity can all be classified as addictions and can be a reason for failed marriages.
Many addictions can be addressed with treatment, so if you think that your marriage may be saved, you should try therapy, counseling, and treatment before you file for divorce.
8. Getting married at an early age
When people are young, they think that love can withstand the test of time. Most often than not, young couples are not prepared for all the things that come with marriage.
People who get married at an early age are more likely to face financial issues because their career paths are not established yet.
Another thing is that young people may not be prepared to become parents and the burdens of becoming parents can sometimes be overwhelming.
Other reasons why marriages end in divorce include:
- Lack of communication
- Getting married for the wrong reasons
- Lack of equality and loss of identity
- A difference in parenting styles
- When you don’t marry for love
- Lack of sincerity
- Losing your identity
- Irreconcilable differences
- Long-distance relationship
- Control struggles in relationships
- Interference of parents in married life
- Jealousy and insecurity
No matter what the reason is, you should always try to save your marriage first. You cannot expect life to be just happy without any issues.
You should know that obstacles that can be tackled in time are what make the marriage stronger in the long run.
However, if you are not happy and you’ve tried everything you could, you should not stay in an unhappy marriage. Many people make the mistake of staying with their partner because of the sake of their children and are not aware of the damage they can do.
If you want to file for divorce, you should first talk to a professional and see what your options are.