If you have experienced some form of cheating or infidelity, you understand it is not a good feeling. The first thing you may be asking is why this happened? If you do not know why, your mind is likely not at ease. There could be many reasons why this occurred as there are many different types of cheating and infidelity that could have started this.
- What Is Infidelity?
- 1. Putting Loyalty In Someone Other Than Your Partner
- 2. Keeping Secrets
- 3. Physical Affairs
- 4. Refusing To Admit Fault or Apologize
- 5. Emotional Affairs
- 6. Complaining About Your Partner
- 7. Being Very Close To Opposite Sex Friends
- 8. Threatening A Divorce
- 9. Commemorative Infidelity
- 10. Not Being There When Needed
- 11. Financial Infidelity
- What Are The Next Steps?
What Is Infidelity?
Infidelity is defined as the act of being unfaithful to a spouse or partner. Typically, infidelity comes in the form of engaging in sexual or romantic relations with another person other than one’s significant other, breaking a commitment or promise in the act. According to the LA Intelligence Detective Agency, 30 to 60 percent of married couples will cheat at least once in the marriage.
Each case of infidelity is different and will fulfill a specific need. According to Grapevine, the signs of cheating are often hard to miss and aren’t seen until it’s too late. Knowing “why” might not help your emotional connection to the person, but it will help in moving forward more confidently and learn from the situation.
Let’s look at the most common forms of infidelity and what to do if this happens to you.
1. Putting Loyalty In Someone Other Than Your Partner
Not putting your partner first can weaken your commitment to the relationship. Whether it is putting your job, parents, friends, etc. before them, you may appear unfaithful or not committed to the relationship. Find a respectable line where you put your relationship first.
2. Keeping Secrets
Keeping secrets from your partner is extremely dangerous and is just as bad as lying. You want to build a relationship on trust and transparency. Unless you are planning a surprise for your significant other, it is important to communicate with them. Whether it is a text message, bills, or friends, if you hope your partner will not find out is an act of infidelity.
3. Physical Affairs
This is what comes to mind when you hear the word “infidelity” because it is the most hurtful act of broken trust and loyalty. Has your partner cheated or are you dating someone who is cheating on their significant other? The act of physically cheating on your partner is never justifiable. If you are being physically intimate with someone other than your partner, you need to stop immediately and reevaluate your current relationship.
4. Refusing To Admit Fault or Apologize
When you do not admit to wrongdoing or apologize for your actions, it is considered infidelity. Some of the most meaningful words to say to them are, “I was wrong and I am sorry.” This is not guaranteed to help forgive the act of infidelity but will show them you understand you have crossed the line.
5. Emotional Affairs
Emotions can often lead to sexual affairs and are still considered infidelity. We are seeing this more with the rise of social media. Social media cheating takes place when we crave attention or affection from someone other than our partner. These connections begin innocently, and the emotional attachment and involvement you have with this other person are continuous. However, emotional attachment can ruin the relationship and qualifies as infidelity.
6. Complaining About Your Partner
If you are continuously complaining about your partner to family or friends, it can be hurtful to your relationship. It is fine to talk about your relationship, but if it’s negative, this implies you are not fully committed. The emotional involvement with your partner will always cause you to talk about that person. To prevent the wedge between you from increasing, openly communicate with them about how you are feeling.
7. Being Very Close To Opposite Sex Friends
Being close to a friend of the opposite sex does not mean your emotionally cheating, however, it may raise some concerns. It may just be that you are only friends, but your partner may think otherwise. It is important to communicate with your partner in these situations. The attraction may not be a choice, but cheating is. If your partner suspects you and your “friend” are in an emotional affair, you have committed a form of emotional infidelity.
8. Threatening A Divorce
It is important to remember every marriage has disagreements and engages in some type of argument at some point. Don’t allow these arguments to take over your marriage. Communicate your frustration and disagreements to compromise and work out a solution to resolve the situation. By mentioning divorce, you are signaling to them that you have no intention for the relationship to last long term.
9. Commemorative Infidelity
This form of infidelity occurs when both partners who are married no longer have feelings for each other. Both individuals feel obligated to each other and there’s no physical attraction or love is expressed in the relationship. The relationship may feel like it’s just for appearances. This is infidelity and to make the marriage work, both partners need to be present and happy with their partner. If you begin to feel your relationship get this way, reach out to your partner and express your feelings. Communicating is the essential element of every relationship.
10. Not Being There When Needed
If you are constantly missing important events like birthdays, anniversaries, and family gatherings, this will be detrimental to your relationship. You never want your partner to struggle or feel like you are not there for them. Be there to support them and show them you are loyal. You do not get to choose your involvement based on convenience; this is committing infidelity. Sometimes, the easiest way to show love is by just showing up.
11. Financial Infidelity
This is as implied. Financial infidelity is when a partner or spouse lies about their finances, accounts, credit cards, and/or bills. Often, the person committing infidelity will keep their financial status from their partner. 40% of respondents in serious relationships admitted to hiding a credit card, savings, or checking, account from their partners. Also, 28% of them believe financial infidelity is worse than physical infidelity.
What Are The Next Steps?
Confronting a cheater or discovering your partner has cheated is never easy. Some relationships will survive this, as long there’s open communication and the problems are addressed. Talk to your partner to understand their needs and what they want in a relationship. Only then will you understand them and eliminate any further infidelity.