Fun Reddit threat alert! Redditor Bhighkin put a call out to the former groupies of Reddit to share their NSFW sexcapdes with rock stars. What ensued were a bunch of unreliable, friend-of-a-friend, hookup stories-turned total Reddit fuckery featuring Darius Rucker of Hootie and the Blowfish, Chad Kroeger, John Mayer, Eddie Vedder, Harry Styles, DMX’s mom (!) and some more famous pees who aren’t even rockstars. Find out who loves “rough anal“, who is way into buttholes, who is asexual, and who has a large dick, but is often too wasted to get up. I’ve included a few tidbits after the jump.
“A girl I used to have an on again, off again fling with had sex with Darius Rucker (hootie from hootie and the blowfish). She said he was a fantastic lay, a perfect gentleman, and even sang to her in the morning as he made her breakfast. On the way out he thanked her for being a good host and said she had a lovely house.”
“friend of a roommate’s mother fucked DMX. we got his number from her cell phone but his answering machine message was just him barking for 30 seconds.”
“At the club I work at several years ago (maybe five) kid rock came in one night after playing downtown. Well he hit it off with one dancer named Destiny. They went back to his tour bus, where they got fucked up and did they deed. She supposedly hung out with him for a week. And apparently he likes rough anal. So there’s that.”
“Mid 90s I was on the road a bit with Eddie Vedder. Nothing sexual eve happened between us. He was actually extremely tame and mellow. Didnt use drugs, drink too much, and was kind of asexual.We use to just talk about the meaning of life for hours on end.”
“My friend’s cousin dated Derek Jeter for a while and had keys to his apartment. According to the story she entered one day to find him butt ass naked on his couch watching highlights of himself and bumping his chest with his fist saying ‘YEAH JEETS, YEAH JEETS.’”
“I know a girl who used to hook up with Chad Kroeger from Nickelback all the time. Said he is hung like a horse which kinda pisses me off.”
“A friend of my banged Stephen Jenkins, the lead singer of Third Eye Blind. She was front row at a concert at the college she went to.. He told her to come backstage after the show and picked 2 other random girls too. After getting a closer look at them, he picked her and took her back to his trailer. I heard it was sweaty and he was REALLY fucked up (but what did you expect??)”
“I worked as a barmaid in various pubs in Camden Town for five years when it was indie central, so I got to hang around with a lot of bands…Julian Casablancas has a huge dick but was usually too fucked to get hard.”
“I’ve made a throwaway because One Direction fans terrify me. I’m from NY and was back in chelsea on break from college up north. I visited my favorite cupcake shop and ran into Harry Styles. (You don’t get to be a 20 year old american girl without recognizing the band members of one direction.) I tipped him off that the red velvet cupcakes were the best of the lot and made an exit. This shop is on a pretty quiet street (one of the old cobbled ones: the few the proud), so I turned around when I heard “excuse me.” There was Harry, recommended cupcake in hand. He walked to the end of the block with me and there was a car waiting for him. I thought seriously about just going home, but i was pretty sure this was the kind of adventure that doesn’t happen twice, so I got in when he offered. We drove around for awhile behind tinted windows talking casually, and eventually ended up at his hotel. He got out with a security guy that had been sitting in the front seat and told the driver to take me a couple blocks away, giving me directions to find his handler in the hotel. It was honestly surreal and I thought he was being a little bit ridiculous until I saw the literal mob of teenage girls at the front door. I worked my way through the crowd (nobody stopped me because I wasn’t with Harry.) Surprisingly, his slightly vague directions panned out and I ended up in his suite. We had great conversations, good sex, and excellent champagne, at which point he needed to leave for some facet of his job, so I headed out of the hotel outside past the mob of fans. It was a really bizarre experience, and ultimately I feel bad for him after witnessing all the smoke and mirrors that went into a casual afternoon. He seemed like a good guy, and I hope he’s doing well, but I have no desire for a repeat. I’m a really private person and am unwilling to take the risk of my name or picture leaking…oh my god the number of penis specific questions. He had a slightly larger than average (in my experience, which honestly isn’t vast) dick. It wasn’t covered in glitter and it didn’t smell like sunflowers, just a pretty normal penis that he put to pretty good use.”
“One night, John Mayer rolled through town during one of his tours. After his show, said friend of ex-girlfriend made her way back stage and got invited to hang out with John. Again, this is her thing and she’s good at. Pretty uneventful shit so far, but apparently at some point during the encounter her and John started to make out fairly heavily. This eventually lead to, in the heat of the moment, John leaning into this girl’s ear and whispering, “Let me see your fucking butthole”. Word for word, this is (apparently) what was said. I don’t know if said butthole was ever shown to Mr. Mayer, but I’d like to think it was.”
“I was at a John Mayer concert and me and a friend were invited backstage to ‘hang out.’ When we got back there he asked us if we were okay with him fisting either of us. When we said no, he laughed at us, called us ugly, and kicked us out.”
“Not me, but I know of two women who had a threesome with Thom Yorke in 2008. Apparently he was at a rough patch with his wife/girlfriend but they’re still together so maybe things are better now. They managed to get to the after party and then back to Thom’s hotel. He likes Asian girls. One of the girls was Asian, and 20 something, the other was a blonde 40 something who was bi and would hook up with the Asian girl which her boyfriend didn’t mind. The boyfriend is a fairly well known musician himself who has recorded albums of Radiohead covers and who himself is a fan, so presumably he was fine with the hookup. Thom said he’d write a song for her, and Lotus Flower was the result. The other band members don’t fool around on the road, and Thom doesn’t that often, apparently.”
Original by Ami Angelowicz
