In Honor of Ex-Spouse Day, People Share Their ‘Crazy Ex’ Stories

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Some people harbor a lot of hate in their hearts

As we reminisce about all of the people we once loved, let us remember all of the crazy things they did to us while we were dating and after we broke up. Do you recall that busted windshield from when your ex-girlfriend threw a brick at your car? Or do you still have that burned teddy bear from your ex-boyfriend? People can go seriously nuts when the relationship ends; here are a few examples of crazy exes.

Everyone has at least one crazy ex, so the stories never cease

Forgery

She woke me up because I had the night sweats and she was convinced I had Aids. For some reason I decided to appease her and got a full STD screen including an expensive Aids test. A few weeks later I drove to her house to give her my signed note (I had to specifically request) stating my clean bill of health. She accused me of forging the entire thing and in the following argument pulled he plates out of the cupboard and Frisbeed them at me. I left immediately.

About 6 months later (I had just started dating my now fiancé) she contacted me to tell me she believed me and wanted to know if she and her two dogs could move in with me. I never responded. (Lurkist)

After One Date

This was all after the one and ONLY date. This wasn’t a ‘we dated for months and then his crazy came out’ this was ‘we met an hour ago.’ We went on half a double date with friends, I was just being a good sport, noped out when he proposed when my food came. The rest came over the next week.

Painted my name all over his bedroom, bathroom and lounge room. Proposed and then Photoshopped us into wedding pictures, sent invites all his family, mine and my friends, got an ultrasound photo online and tried to announce to Facebook we were expecting a baby, shaved our initials into his cat and left hundreds of love letters taped to my car. So that was crazy… (Thelittleusername)

Trapped in the Closet

Walked miles in the snow to my house, tapped on my bedroom window for an hour until I acknowledged him. I turned him away. In the morning I heard rustling in my closet upon waking up. The guy snuck into my house somehow and was hiding in my closet. I threatened to call the cops so he left. Weeks later, he emailed me pictures of me sleeping from that night. I still have nightmares about finding him in a closet. [deleted user]

Faux Black and Blue

After I broke up with her, she used makeup to feign bruising on her arms, neck, and face. She then proceeded to send pictures of it to all of our mutual friends “warning them” about me. (LXIX-)

Revenge Sex

She had sex with my best friend because she thought I was having sex with a girl, but I was just taking care of her because she was really drunk. Afterwards she broke into my apartment and stole my clothes and smashed my dishes. And then she sent a picture of her standing on a bridge threatening to kill herself if I didn’t get back together with her. Got a restraining order the next day. (RaiseHellPraiseDale3)

Dog Jealousy

I suspect she was crazy long before I knew her, but I realized she was a sociopath when she asked me to euthanize my dog because “he was taking up too much of ‘our’ time.” (lazlounderhill)

Bloody Crazy

I told her to leave my house after I found out she had cheated. She grabbed a large knife from the kitchen and charged at me with it. I knocked it out of her hands and almost lost my finger in the process. She picked up the knife from the floor and cut her own wrist. It was the deepest cut I had ever seen. I grabbed some paper towels and duck tape and wrapped her arm about 100x. I got her in the car and drove through a snowstorm to the hospital. I dropped her off and told myself I was done with her. Still traumatized by that night. (per1993)

Not Interested

Not even an ex just a dude I went on ONE date with. We went to the movies and it was okay but I wasn’t interested in a second date. When he asked me for a second date I politely told him I wasn’t interested. He. Flipped. Started talking about how he had a dream about me before we met and he knew we were meant to be. Then threatened to kill himself if I didn’t go on a second date with him. I blocked him everywhere and changed my number (Stacieinhorrorland)

Mortal Combat

In my senior year of high school I had an ex wait in front of my house for an hour. She thought I was home so she kept ringing my doorbell. So I came home from practice and saw her bawling her eyes out begging me to take her back. I of course said no.

She was kind of a cliché so she threatened to kill herself and tell all of my friends she was pregnant with my child. I laughingly told her to leave. This is where I saw a side of her I had no idea existed. This 5’2 chick gets in boxer stance and puts her fists up, ready to brawl. I was stunned, so she takes a swing at my face and misses the first time. I didn’t have it in me to harm a pregnant, suicidal 17 year-old so I start backing off.

I try to get inside my house when she jumps on my back piggyback style trying to choke me out and take me down. (I’m not afraid to admit I was getting my ass kicked). I finally break free and get inside my house. That was the last time I saw her. She ended up keeping true to her threats, told all of my friends she was preggers. (tatertots4tots)

Steak Caper

I dated a woman for around 2 months and finally realized that things were just not going to work out. We sat calmly at my table and broke up, amicably, I thought. I went to put the kids to bed and tell them a bed time story. I ended up falling asleep while telling the story. When I woke up, my laptop was gone, my extremely nice winter coat, my cast iron pots and pans, pictures I had taken while overseas. I was shocked and hurt. Thankfully I still had a cheap pan left and decided to make myself a late steak dinner. Oh. Whoops. She took my steaks. (Papaya_flight)

Extreme Ghosting

I dated a guy I worked with at a restaurant. He was a bartender and I was a server. We’d hooked up after a few months of heavy flirting. It was extremely casual and only went on for a few weeks. Then, for reasons unknown but likely mundane he decided to call it quits, but his method for doing this was to “ghost” me, as in to quit responding and otherwise acknowledging that I exist.

Now, that is doable when you communicate mostly by phone/email to get together, but WE WORKED TOGETHER, on the same shift! So this ghosting would result in bizarre instances where he would work service bar, I would ring up drinks for my tables, and he would stand there and act like I didn’t exist, standing there too right in front of him and asking him to make the drinks I rang up, which he wouldn’t do because that would break the illusion that I didn’t exist.

This inexplicable behavior went on for weeks. Someone must have finally asked him why he was acting like such a retard, because after several weeks he finally sat me down and gave me this overly wordy apology about how he hoped I wasn’t too crushed and heartbroken but he didn’t see us working out. I informed him that I was never heartbroken as our time together was never very serious. He seemed let down at my lack of pining away for our lost love. (idiosyncrassy)

Another Man’s Baby

My Ex was always very suspicious in whatever I was doing. I’ve never cheated before, and feel like I’ve gained my trust with her. I proposed to her, we’ve been dating for 3 years at this point. I left for boot camp in may 2014 and later found out that she cheated on me, with 3 different guys. After I figured out she did this she drove to Texas, all the way from Michigan to apologize and she begged me to get her pregnant.

Came home for Christmas to find out she’s had a dude living with her the whole 7 months I’ve been gone and she was pregnant with his child the whole time, was just trying to put it on me. If that’s not crazy I don’t know what is! (cooltoast)

Nerdy Couch

I broke up with her at her house but she decided to follow/race me back to mine. As we were both driving, she sped past me going 20 MPH over the limit in the wrong lane trying to get to my place first. She almost got into a head-on collision with another car.

We get back to my house. I’m trying to figure out how the hell to get rid of her without hurting herself/me/my property. After she yells at me for an hour or so, cries, smacks herself, tells me not to do this, etc. she grabs a box of Nerds from the coffee table and hurls it at me. She missed me but the box of Nerds exploded into my couch.

She stormed off…and then basically harassed and stalked me for months.
There are still Nerds in that couch. (foolishlyloaded)

Dark and Spooky

I went out to my car a few mornings after the breakup to a note that said “YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL”in dark black marker, taped to my car, and a rose that had long since died. Thinking it was a lame prank, I confronted a few friends, and they said that it wasn’t any of them, but (ex-GF) had been acting a little strange lately. She apparently died her hair pitch black, and over the course of the next few weeks, would complete the full transformation from young and sweet to dark and creepy. I would continue to receive creepy messages once a week or so, complete with dead roses, until one day she just walked into my ROTC class with a full on mourning dress, complete with veil. Handed me an entire DOZEN dead roses and said….”I BROUGHT YOU SOME ROSES…I’LL LEAVE YOU BE NOW…” (Logic_Nom)

True Crazy

When I was 14 I started dating a guy in my class. We dated for about 2 weeks only when he cheated on me with my friend. Okay not a big deal it was 2 weeks. We break up. He goes full blown stalker mode telling me I’m the love of his life, asks me to marry him, and to have his children. Being young I never realized how dangerous he actually was, he shoved me into walls at school he would show up outside my window every night, call me 30x a day for FOUR YEARS STRAIGHT.

He’s 19, married and has a baby, oh, and is wanted for the rape and molestation of a 13 year old girl. And every now and then I STILL get calls from unknown numbers with him using fake voices for the voicemails. I’ve changed my number 12 times. (Skittlezhun)

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Original by Emily Hingle