There are so many toxic freaking people in this world that it’s enough to make you wanna stay inside for life. However, in an effort to keep you from being among the shut-ins (which, for the record, are one of my favorite categories of people) of the universe, there are some types of people whom you could cut out right now and boom! — Suddenly it would be a whole lot easier to leave your house and have pleasant interactions with human beings. To be clear, you don’t have to send out a mass friend break-up email to these people with a gif of a middle finger at the end (you could though; live your life how you want), but gently easing them out of your life will bring you so much peace you have no idea. So let us all peruse this list together and then do some stealthy de-friending on various social networking sites, shall we?
1. The person who is rude to servers in a way that makes you grateful you’ve never been their server.
If you’re grateful that you’ve never had to interact with your friend in another way than the way you normally interact with them, what are you even doing?! If someone’s in your life, ideally they should be nice to everyone in the world (as much as they possibly can; some people are jerks). If they’re only nice to you or certain other people and totally controlling assholes to other people, it’s very likely that one day you will be the one they’re screaming at for literally no reason. It’s OK to let this person go.
2. The person who tells you they’re so glad you’re not like “other girls.”
This is usually said by a dudebro, but occasionally it also comes from a woman who is like, “OMG, I almost never get along with women, but you’re so fun!” Somehow it’s even more heartbreaking coming from a woman, but no matter who says this dumb thing, anyone in your life who thinks you’re “not like all the other dumb bitches and skanks” needs to quietly go deal with their issues with women and then maybe you guys can have a friendship. But first they need to be like, “LOL I had issues I’m sorry!” and then you can be like, “Misogyny needs to be unlearned. It is OK, my friend.”
3. The person who says insanely offensive things and then tells you to learn how to take a joke.
I hated people like this as a kid growing up and my distaste for them as an adult has not quieted in the least. Whether your friend is saying racist/sexist/homophobic/transphobic, etc. things, if you’re like, “Oh hey, FYI, that’s super offensive and also not funny, so, um,” and they’re like, “Oh shut up, idiot who is calling me out on awful things I am saying in an effort to help me see the error of my ways,” drop them like they’re hot (garbage).
4. The person who only ever talks to you when they need something.
I’ve recently started inching away from these people at long last, but I think it took me so long because I kind of couldn’t believe they existed. Like, “Wait, you literally only talk to me when you need something from me, but that can’t be right because if it were you’d be a piece of shit.” And yet it is possible and they need to leave now.
5. The person who just started dating someone and now basically doesn’t exist.
This is never OK. This has never been OK. Friends are not placeholders between relationships.
6. The person who flakes on you constantly and for all you know they are actually a ghost texting you from beyond the grave.
At a certain point, it’s reasonable to feel like you should no longer be friends with someone who has flaked on you so many times that you can no longer totally confirm whether or not she’s still a corporeal entity. It’s not that you’re anti-ghost, it’s just that if you’re not even sure someone still exists on this mortal coil (or wait, crap, did they move???), that’s probably reason enough to end your fake friendship.
7. The person who spends all your time together shits talking your mutual friends.
There’s that rule that we all know, which is that if someone is doing something to everyone else they’ll probably do it to you too. Still, when we have a friend who nonstop talks shit about our others friends we’re like, “Well, she probably doesn’t shit talk me because I am perfect and only say great things and have on-point outfits.” And yet we are wrong because this person almost definitely talks shit about us. Let them go like a Frozen song.
8. The person who never appreciates anything you do for them because they think they deserve it and are the Queen Of Nothing.
Honestly, people who are never grateful or humble are just a freaking drain. You shouldn’t have to remind yourself to not be your typically generous, incredible self to certain people in your life if that’s the way you’re used to dealing with them. Instead, you should just moonwalk away from people who treat you like you work for them and get paid in nothing.
9. The person who genuinely makes you feel bad about yourself.
Whether it’s backhanded compliments or straight-up shame-y nonsense, anyone who makes you feel like crap about yourself more than 20 percent of the time, intentional or not, is making your heart sad and you don’t need any more of that. You just don’t.
10. The person you never feel like you can communicate your feelings to.
I know we’re all super sensitive angels who cannot always communicate our delicate thought-feelings, so I am not implying that if someone doesn’t understand you they should fly under a bus. However, if you have a friend who you feel like you can’t even be honest with (whether that’s about how you’ve been depressed lately or that they hurt your feelings a lot or that you’re still not cool with them making you split the check when all you had was iced tea), peace. Just do it. Relationships are supposed to be fun, yes, but when they’re difficult you should be able to be like, “Hi, I love you, but you hurt me.” and then they can be like, “I love you too and I’m so sorry I hurt you! I won’t hurt you again.” If they can’t do that, just make friends with your TV. I did and life is great.
Original by Lane Moore
