There are so many myths about the female orgasm. The exotic, elusive, enigmatic female O. Because so many (men) fear its power, knowledge on the female orgasm is rare and myths spread like lore. It’s high time we fix that. With Prince gifs. Who knew more about females orgasms than Prince, amirite? (Fuck 50 Shades of Grey, how about Prince’s “Dirty Mind,” “Head,” or “Do Me, Baby.” Try listening to those songs in public and tell me you suddenly don’t feel a need to repent.)
But before we begin, let’s try to understand why in 2016, this article still needs to be written. Between the beginning of Obama’s presidency and Donald Trump’s unnerving rise, women’s rights have become a target again. Specifically, women’s reproductive rights. Abortion has always been a controversial topic, but somehow birth control made its way back into the conversation. Now conservatives are trying to regulate it with abstinence-only sexual education and policies that strip away our access to birth control. Um, did the ’70’s never happen?
Baby boomers — who are controlling Congress — are not used to women being sexually independent. I believe part of this sudden need to regulate women’s bodies and sexual autonomy comes from the advancement of our sexuality. Women having sex just to have sex is much more acceptable now. (Of course, we still have some work to do.) But it’s widely accepted that for women, sex is no longer just a means for reproduction. It’s also a means to pleasure.
Speaking of pleasure…
1. It’s Rare
Clueless people think it’s almost impossible to get a woman to orgasm. (And if you do, you are the WOMAN.) While cis women do have a harder time achieving an orgasm than men, it doesn’t mean we can’t get ours. Women have been orgasming since the dawn of time. Ask your mom. (Ew, maybe don’t.)
2. Everyone Has Them
On the other end of the spectrum, some people assume everyone has the ability to orgasm, and if you don’t, there is something seriously wrong with you. If you can’t reach an O, you are not alone — there is absolutely nothing wrong with you.
According to data from Cosmopolitan’s Female Orgasm Survey, only 57 percent of women have orgasms during intercourse. (while men bat at 95 percent). Experts claim most women need to have their clitoris stimulated to reach orgasm; however, that is not always the case. Women can reach orgasm in a variety of different ways, including anal, vaginal, and even from kissing (yes, kissing!). Also, not all women have vaginas, though most of the research available on this topic is extremely heteronormative.
In sum, don’t think about what everyone else is doing and focus on your own needs and wants.
3. A Woman Has To Orgasm In Order To Enjoy Sex
I’ve definitely enjoyed my time in bed without reaching an orgasm. Sometimes it can be frustrating, but other times I don’t even realize it. It’s fine. Again, focus on you and not the haters.
4. Women Don’t Like Quickies
Have you seen Sex and the City? Girls? Living Single? Or spoken to a woman? Women are busy and also have needs. Samanthas and Maxines do exist.
5. Women Can’t Have Vaginal Orgasms
It seems like the jury is still out on this, and a recent study claimed vaginal orgasm is a myth. In fact, the study believes the reason why so many women have a hard time having an orgasm is because of our unplaced focus on vaginal orgasms. Though 70 percent of women need clitoral stimulation to orgasm, it doesn’t mean vaginal orgasms are impossible.
So go Beautiful Ones, Partyup.
Original by: Ana Defillo