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Love & Sex

7 Simple Ways To Tell A Girl That You Don’t Have A Penis

by Wendy Stokes July 22, 2019
by Wendy Stokes July 22, 2019

By now you’ve likely heard about Andrew Wardle, otherwise known as “The Man With No Penis” (but with a TLC documentary!). The special gave us a window into what a junk-less life is all about.

Wardle, who was rendered dickless by condition called bladder exstrophy, used this platform to present himself as the “Rudy” of pussy. He claimed that he’s tricked over 100 women into having sex with him, which is a pretty high number for even a standard-issue wang.

“I knew my way around a woman’s body, I knew my way around their mind,” he said in the special. “I was very confident in bed of what I could do to them so they wouldn’t come near me and they were finished and I was fine.” He also abused alcohol and drugs like LSD so he could blame his lack of performance on that. (If he ever shared the LSD with his partners, that would help explain the penis disappearance too. Trippy.)

As much as his medical condition is not his fault, the lack of disclosure with his now serious girlfriend, Fedra Fabian, is and it’s kind of deceptive, manipulative and creepy. He tricked her into a relationship the way most people do, with the Internet and long distance. He catfished her when it came to his penis, but dickfishing doesn’t begin to described what it must be like to go through all this on TV. And he might get rewarded with a new penis for it.

Fabian’s reaction may have been less emotional if she wasn’t also dealing with being duped on top of it. It’s obviously not easy being Wardle, but we’d be more empathetic with his plight (and impressed) if he had been honest about everything. Here are a few simple ways to do just that.

TLC Promo – The Man With No Penis from Nicki Noermark on Vimeo.

1. That’s not a banana in my pocket, but I am happy to see you.

2. I lost my penis, can I borrow yours? **hands her a new vibrator**

3. Do you have a map? Because my penis got lost in your eyes.

4. I’m not a photographer, but I can picture you being compassionate about my anatomy.

5. I have a vitamin-D deficiency minus the vitamins.

6. There’s a funeral in my pants and you’re invited.

7. I bet you hate lies more than you love dicks.

[NY Post]

Original by Lauren Vinopal

andrew wardleenglandMedicineno penispenispenisestlcweird sex
Wendy Stokes

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TheFrisky.com is a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for sites to earn advertising fees by advertising and linking to Amazon.com. Amazon, the Amazon logo, AmazonSupply, and the AmazonSupply logo are trademarks of Amazon.com, Inc. or its affiliates.

We at TheFrisky participate in various affiliate marketing programs, which means we may earn commissions on products or services that we recommend or promote through our website. When you click on a link to purchase a product or service that we have recommended or promoted, we may earn a commission from the sale. This commission helps us maintain and improve our website and provide you with valuable information and resources.