So, I’m not gonna lie, there have been more times than many that I’ve wondered what it feels like to have a penis. I think I even dreamed about it. Don’t judge me! It’s just that some guys idolize their manhood like it’s their greatest gift on earth.
Seriously—what’s so good about them?
Does sex without a condom feel that immaculate? When a girl goes down on you, is it that mind-blowing?I can only imagine how great these things are, but I’m tired of imagining! Health and sexuality educator, Ellen Kate Friedrichs, spills the real tea on things you’ve always wanted to know about the male member but were too chicken to ask.
Why are guys so concerned about size?
Like, really. What the big deal? Seriously.
Well, according to Friedrichs, we should blame porn.
“You rarely see a guy with a small or even average-sized penis in porn, so huge penises seem normal and almost expected. Plus, there’s a myth that a big penis is needed to satisfy a partner. It isn’t.”
Okay. I can see why guys would be self-conscious about their members. It’s kinda like how we as women are super self-conscious when it comes to our boobs and butts.
So, what is the average size?
According to a study done on 15,000 men, the average size of an adult male is 3.6 inches long when soft and 5.2 inches long when hard. Do you hear that, guys?
“Show-ers” and “Growers”—Is that real?
Yes! Friedrichs says: “The size of a guy when he is soft isn’t an indication of how big he will be when he’s hard.”
Do condoms really make a difference? Like, sensation-wise?
I’ve known a couple of guys who said condoms are a barrier when having sex. They claimed that not wearing a condom felt so much better than wearing a condom that they’d rather go raw dog than be safe and strap.
Friedrichs says that’s a load of crap (for the most part). “Enough guys have great sex using condoms that I would argue that even if they affect sensation a bit, a lot of guys don’t feel like condoms get in the way of great sex,” she explains.
And lest we forget, condoms are a way to ensure safety. There are way too many STDs and unwanted pregnancies happening these days. Don’t be caught in that bunch. Always remember: No glove, no love!
“He can’t get/stay hard! Is it me?”
A friend of mine cried to me one time because her man couldn’t “get it up.” She was hurt and extremely pissed. She thought he was either not into her anymore, cheating on her, or gay. Ladies, don’t be so quick to jump to assumptions if your guy is having trouble getting hard. Yes, guys get hard when they are turned on, but if they fail to do so, it can be because of many reasons, including nervousness.
Friedrichs says that it’s possible that he is nervous, tired or distracted.
Come to find out, my friend’s boyfriend had been working tirelessly the entire week and was just too worn out to even think about getting it up. See?! Don’t trip, girl!
So… Can it break?
Yes… And no. While there are no bones in penises to actually break, if you bend a penis while it’s hard, it can cause a lot of tissue damage, according to Friedrichs. Painful bruising and swelling can occur, resulting in the worst. pain. ever. Watch out for rough sex!
“Blue balls”—That can’t be real, right?
I just thought a guy saying he had blue balls was a ploy to make a girl feel sorry for him and give him pity sex. But according to Friedrichs, it’s a real condition. Well, sorta.
When a guy gets an erection but doesn’t ejaculate, his testicles sometimes ache. They call this blue balls.
His balls don’t actually turn bright blue, but there can a tint of blue down there. But just because he has a little situation going on south of the border doesn’t mean that he just has to have sex.
“This is not dangerous and he sure doesn’t need to have sex with a partner to deal with it. Either he can do something non-sexual until it goes away, or he can masturbate,” Friedrichs explains.
So, don’t let him guilt you into having sex with him! He’s not hurting, he’s just frustrated (not that it would matter if he was hurting, that’s his problem—not yours).
Okay—But what does it feel like?
This is the big one. I think every lady has wondered what it feels like to get hard… Does it hurt? Does it feel good? Do you even notice it every time?
Friedrichs’s got the answer.
“A lot of guys describe erections as feeling full and sensitive in a really pleasurable way if they happen at the right time. But an erection can start to feel pretty uncomfortable if it turns up at an unexpected time. Say, like in the middle of math class!”
Original by Ashlee Miller