Sex is fun, sure… But it’s also incredibly awkward sometimes. It’s just a fact that most sexually active adults have story from the bedroom that makes them cringe when they think about it, but luckily, we’re all in it together.
Seriously—if you are ever feeling like something you did in bed is bad, just give these stories a read. It could be much worse.
1. She farted as I was about to cum. ON PURPOSE. (kingeryck)
2. 22, in college, girl from a Poli Sci class and I head back to her place after a night of drinking. She told me at the bar she was renting the place and had a couple of roomies, so we needed to be quiet. Things progress the way god intended, and we’re going at it pretty loudly doggystyle.
Suddenly, door opens and lights come on. The way the room is situated, we are facing the door, and it is an older man in pajamas. She then, of course, yells out “dad!” and then abruptly turns her entire body, simultaneously twisting my d**k and bending it as it is unceremoniously removed. She also is nice enough to thrust her other knee directly into the meaty part of my thigh, giving me a solid dead leg. I go to get off the other side of the bed, but that is the dead leg and instead of getting up I jettison myself face first into the wall.As I am trying to gather myself I just hear this man laughing uncontrollably. He tells me to just take my time getting dressed and get out.
TL;DR: Doggystyle, dad walks in, d**k twist and bend, kick, faceplant (epiphany99)
3. I once had a girl start screaming, and as my bravado increased and my ego started to soar, I started to say stupid s**t like, “yeah, baby. Take that D”. She responded with a “Get the f**k off me you idiot, I have a cramp in my thigh”. (SluggoVonPunch)
4. Wife was riding me once and really liked her a** slapped. So I spanked her, not hard enough evidently. She moaned and begged me to spank her a** harder, (she’s such a naughty girl) so I reached back with an open hand, as far as my arm would reach, delivered a slightly off based trajectory and slapped myself right in the balls… no words can describe the amount of agony. (DucknutZ)
5. Drunken sex with my now ex-boyfriend. I was on top and for some odd reason he decided to start tickling me. I asked him to stop… fearing the inevitable. He did not and I pissed all over him. ([deleteduser])
6. I turned around, and my best friend was smoking a cigarette, sitting cross legged, and just whispered, “No, Continue.” ([deleteduser])
7. Back in the day, my wife and I were going at it, with me on my back and her next to me with her hand on my junk as we were kissing. Suddenly PAIN! Our cat had unknowingly jumped up onto our bed and had attacked my flailing erection with tooth and nail. Scratches resulted, and considerable pain ensued, but the sheer ridiculousness of what happened at least made me laugh through the pain. (samsonate)
8. Trying to give a blow job to my first real boyfriend when I was about 14, he didn’t warn me when he was going to come and it went up my nose. Had to try to make myself sneeze to get all of the jizz out of my nostril. (SuburbanBuddha)
9. So this has actually happened to me a few times…About to go down on a girl, and by doing so slowly as I move past her naval, she moves upwards fast and gives me a nosebleed. Kinda kills the mood. (pacoliketaco)
10. I was having sex with my then bf on the floor, good-old missionary style. We’re into it, everything’s going well until he bumps the desk next to us and knocks a large snake-shaped brass candle holder straight onto my face. I split my gum wide open and get one hell of a bruise that I had to try and explain to my parents who I was living with at the time. (prink811)
11. I played around with my now ex, we shaved each others’ parts, and generally had pretty good sex that night. The shaving caused me irritation, which caused other irritations, which led to condition called vulvar vestibulitis where the entrance of my vag burned like fire or felt like razor blades scraping across it.That lasted for three years until I had surgery to take out a chunk of tissue. That was a pretty bad tale of woe. (Punky_Grifter)
12. Boy dislocates his arm while having sex with me. He had to go to the ER. (Poopkitten)
Read more cringeworthy sex stories here!
Original by Hannah Briggs
