While many people have heard about BDSM as a category on adult websites, the fact is that many of them don’t know much about it. There are some books and movies, such as Fifty Shades of Gray, that introduced it to a wider audience. The common misconception is that the whole point is the introduction of violence into intimate relations, which is far from being true.
The key is to share even more trust with your partner, and some people have desires to be more submissive or have the other side be more submissive. There are also different types of BDSM gear that will make the whole experience even more unique. Here are more details to know about BDSM.
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Main Features
The word BDSM stands for a combination of bondage, submission, and sadism. It might sound too intense for some people. However, the key is to determine the limits with your partner. Asserting dominance over someone is a desire of many people. Also, involving a certain level of pain can make this play even more unique. It could be related to sadism, which is related to those who want to doll the pain, while masochism is the pleasure of receiving it.
Moreover, it does not have to include any pain at all. For example, bondage and discipline are also part of this category. In that matter, that can be related to tying your partner to the bed with handcuffs or wearing special clothes as part of some role-play. The main feature is that one side is always dominant over another one.
Communication and Consent Are Crucial
It is not a surprise that there are so many misconceptions about this style. It is not even expected to mention it when you have just started seeing someone. On the other side, when you have an honest relationship with your partner, and both of you are interested in trying new things, this can even strengthen your bond. The key is to be open about your intimate relations and talk about your desires.
If you find out that the other side has some similar desires, this can be the topic to talk about. The goal is, to be honest, and explain how you imagine the whole situation. When both partners are honest and clear about their expectations, it will surely add an interesting experience to the bedroom.
Another reason why clear communication is crucial is because you might not share the same expectations as your partner. For example, one of you could become too violent. When things get heated, it is harder to control the whole situation.
That is also the reason for mutual consent about certain things. There are all kinds of sex toys that you can use as well, but some of them could lead to injuries if you use them too hard. If your partner wants to be submissive, there still must be a limit. Be sure to talk about some boundaries, and practice open communication during relations to avoid getting over the line.
Add Safety Measures
As we already mentioned, things can easily get too heated, which can lead at least one side to lose control. That could lead to some serious injuries depending on the role you both are playing. That is especially the case if you introduce something more violent, along with some toys and additional equipment.
The best way to avoid these mistakes is to introduce a safe word. That will help both of you to research and find the right limit, and get the best out of this experience. It can be a simple tap on a shoulder, a short word, or anything else that will indicate other side to stop, take a break, and get things to control again.
Furthermore, it is crucial to keep in mind that losing control can be very dangerous. Even though adding a safe word can be an effective way to avoid mistakes, you have to stay focused. That is related to the side that is being submissive in the process as well. Letting things go over the line can be dangerous. There could even be a situation where you are testing your limits to see how far you can go, and end up with more serious injuries in the end.
Besides that, there is no need to try to impress your partner by trying to keep up even while not feeling comfortable. That is especially related to beginners. Trying with something more intense from the start is never a good idea. Instead of that, try to research something lighter, and then move forward over time to find a limit where both sides will enjoy.
Benefits For a Relationship
When you just start dating someone, introducing this subject is not a good choice. There are many people who would not be interested into it. Most of them are not even familiar with the whole meaning of BDSM, and compare it only to violence.
On the other side, it can be an interesting way of adding something new into your relationship. We all know that things could become passive over time. If you want to add more passion, the first step is to talk with your partner about some desires.
As we already mentioned, it does not have to include any violence at all. You can enjoy in an interesting role-play where you or your partner will wear certain clothes, masks, or when one of you is tied to the bed. You can try with some light form of violence as well, but it will require consent and focus, along with safety measures.
The Bottom Line
It is not rare that one side wants to be more dominant or submissive. It can lead to an amazing experience. However, clear communication and certain limits are crucial to avoid mistakes that could have a negative effect on your relationship. In the end, this is one of the best ways to explore yourself and find your true passion. When performed in the right way, it will improve the bond with your partner.