Online dating has undoubtedly opened a new world for many people. You don’t have to go to bars or hope you run into someone great at the supermarket. You can get to know a lot about people just by looking at their online profile, and you can chat with potential dates before you ever meet in person.
Date Dojo points out that there are plenty of challenges of online dating as well.
Just ten years ago the idea of online dating was a fairly foreign concept and now it’s completely mainstream. Dating apps are convenient and accessible and they help you contact new and interesting people you would never otherwise come across in your daily life.
The challenges, however, include the fact that having too many choices can be intimidating. It can be like a full-time job to manage all the different people who might want to connect or chat with you. Then you’re spending so much time swiping that you might have an even tougher time being decisive.
There’s, of course, always the issue of misleading profiles, and for some people, the biggest challenge is creating a profile that shows who they are and attracts the right people to them.
The following are some ways you can be a more successful in online dating without driving yourself crazy in the process.
Use One Website or App
So many people in the modern era of online dating are putting their profile on every app or website they come across. There are mainstream options and niche choices, but if you’re putting yourself on every site it’s going to be time-consuming and tough for you to really meet a special person.
Try to focus on one platform that you enjoy being on and that you feel like fits best with your personality and lifestyle.
Quality is definitely better than quantity in this situation.
Don’t Read Too Much Into a Profile
A profile is important because it can give you a glimpse into someone’s general life and interests, and having a lifestyle that’s similar to your partner can be valuable. At the same time, you might not want to let a profile make or break for you.
There are so many things that are important when you’re choosing a partner that isn’t going to be found anywhere on a profile. For example, you might find someone you click with in terms of humor and communication, and neither of those things might have been conveyed on profiles.
Yes, profiles are something you should look at, but you should also get out there are meet people in person if you think there could be a spark, even if their profile isn’t great.
As far as your own profile, try to be direct, keep it short, and be honest. If you try too hard to be clever or witty it might come across as inauthentic or weird. Just put in a few lines that sum up what you’re about without trying to be what you’re not.
When you write a profile and also put up your main profile picture, have someone you trust go over it for you. They can let you know if it feels accurate to who you are, or if it seems like it’s misleading or not so appealing.
Don’t Chat for Too Long Before You Meet In Person
One big mistake that so many online people who date make is spending too long chatting before meeting in person. These conversations will inevitably fizzle, and then you may think that’s because you don’t have chemistry with the other person, but it’s not necessarily true.
You should try to meet in person within two weeks or less if you think you like someone. Speaking of those messages that you send before you meet—when you’re messaging someone, you need to make sure you’re personalizing your message.
Don’t send out generic greetings to everyone. Don’t jump into something that feels super sexual, either. Just keep it neutral but engaged and interested. Sometimes neither person will want to bring up the idea of meeting in person because neither wants to seem too eager, but that’s really why you’re there on the site at all.
If you’re unsure of whether or not you’re ready to meet in person, why not have a phone call? Not texting but an actual phone call. This will give you the chance to learn a bit more about the person and see if there’s any chemistry. It could also be easier to identify any red flags than if you’re emailing or texting.
Dealing with Rejection
A big part of online dating is dealing with rejection. You may fully put yourself out there in a way that you wouldn’t in a more traditional dating scene, and you can easily get rejected. People have a lot more options as well and it can be tough to mentally deal with these situations.
If you do run into a situation where you experience rejection, it’s okay to feel hurt by it but try to move forward and don’t lose confidence.
It’s okay for people not to like you, just like you won’t like everyone, and that’s the point of dating in any setting.
Don’t Date People You Don’t Like
It may sound like a given, but don’t date people you don’t like. Since online dating does open up the opportunity to communicate with so many people, it’s easy to fall into the trap of dating someone that you don’t really like or who isn’t a good fit for you just because they’re there.
Don’t date people to fill the time or just because you’re lonely. You could miss an opportunity to connect with someone you do like in the meantime.
Online dating can be tough and sometimes can leave you feeling worn out by the whole concept, but it can also be incredibly rewarding and well worth it. Try to check in with yourself every once and awhile and make sure online dating isn’t taking over your life but is instead adding to your life.