So maybe you’re not cut out to live in a yurt and grow out your armpit hair. Maybe the smell of pachouli oil turns your stomach and the thought of attending a Phish show makes you want to poke out your ear drums. You love running water and deodorant and razors and you refuse to connect to anyone on a “soul level.” Fine. To each his own. But all of us can benefit from getting a little more far out in the bedroom. As the hippies would say, “If it feels good, do it!”
Click through to see some sex practices that may be able to help you and your lovah explore new planes of communion. Or just … try something new and laugh about it.
Nicole Daedone is the founder of the “Slow Sex” movement, which uses meditation techniques like mindfulness and focusing on sensitivity and pleasure; she believes that Orgasmic Meditation is the key to a longer female orgasm. According to the OneTaste website, her San Francisco-based organization dedicated to researching and teaching the practice of Slow Sex, Orgasmic Meditation or OM (not to be confused with the yoga sound Ohm) is a meditation practice that focuses solely on the clitoris.
Described as “a gateway to more vitality, connection and turn on,” there is no goal other than to feel what is happening in the moment. Partners take turns stroking the genitals of the other while both focusing attention on the sensation with the goal of developing connective resonance between them. OM is not about more climax but about expanding the most pleasurable part of the climax.
OneTaste, which has locations all over the world, offers private OM lessons or, those who are truly embracing the hippie sexual credo, can attend OM circles or events.
Clitoral meditation, in front of others or at all, is pretty much my worst nightmare, but hey, gotta hand it to people who can.
I only really know about tantric sex because of some comment Sting allegedly made in 2004. He later blamed the misinformation on Bono, claiming he said he and Trudy Styler have “frantic sex” not “tantric sex.” It doesn’t really matter at this point because there are lots of celebs who claim to be all into it. I’m looking at you Heather Graham.
Dubbed “the gateway to ecstasy,” tantric sex is an ancient Hindu practice that encourages couples to prolong intercourse in order to build up to a more intense orgasm, or orgasms. It includes any kind of touching that encourages deep intimacy.
Basically, it’s about having sex while making eye contact and breathing together and feeling the connection. So, instead of rolling your eyes back into your head and thinking about when you’re going to get off, you’re, like, being mindful of each other.
If you’re as serious about learning the practice as Heather Graham is, you can sign up for a very expensive workshop. Or there are always YouTube videos!
Erotic Tarot Cards
These are like regular Tarot cards but with sexy or sensual themes. (I felt like Courtney Stodden writing that last sentence.) There are lots of different decks to choose from that cover everything from Gothic fantasy to vintage erotica.
So, you can get creative and do erotic Tarot readings or use the cards as inspiration for sex activities. Just let fate guide and be open to the power of the universe … in bed. [aeclectic]
There was a Daily Beast piece about all these women who were experiencing spontaneous orgasms during yoga class; yogasms. Ohm, ohm, ohmigod! (That’s what I’m imaging they would sound like.)
I’ve been doing yoga for 16 years and have never experienced this, but I believe it could happen. I suspect it has to do with a combination of deep breathing and use of the bandhas, or body locks, one of which is in the pelvis. I will say that it can feel pretty damn good to let all that body tension go after a stressful week, but again, for me, never yogasmic.
Wherever there’s a need, there’s an eBook out there somewhere to fulfill it. Winona alerted me to the existence of Taoist Foreplay, a book which teaches how to use Love Meridians and Pressure Points to get the action going. Somehow, this also relates to the Chinese Zodiac. I have no idea what Love Meridians are or what they have to do with the Chinese Zodiac, but I see there is a chapter called “Whole Body Love-Shiatsu,” so I’m in!
But seriously, there are host of exploratory, sexual how-tos on Amazon. Just found one called Modern Sex Magick: Secrets of Erotic Spirituality. Sounds heavy.
Don’t forget about the importance of olfactory stimulation for a fully sensual experience. You can skip the pachouli, unless you like it, and focus on the 18 essential oils, which are known to be aphrodisiacs. You can combine them or use them alone to create the sexual atmosphere of your choosing.
And while you’re at it with the essential oils, why not get going with some body paint? You can paint a flower on your face, or somewhere naughtier. Or go more modern with your body art. Maybe something Banksy inspired? Or Willie Nelson on your vagina? Or a elephant on your penis? Get creative!
If you’re really feeling it, burn some incense and get your records going and sway to the music.