Neil Armstrong was the first to walk on the moon. The Wright brothers were the first to fly. And Sacha Baron Cohen was the first to realize Donald Trump is a dick. These are all equal in stature if you’re anything other than a white upper-class cisgender male and routinely thank Hashem or Allah or that shed in your yard that someone was finally able to call weakest link on this guy who’s the same color, texture and intelligence of the apricots in my oatmeal.
In an interview on The Late Late Show on Monday, Baron Cohen likened the Republican presidential candidate to a male appendage, which is not wrong. If you’re a diehard Borat fan, chances are you’re still quoting Da Ali G Show, where the “wannabe rapper character” went undercover decked out in goggles and a bathing-cap-like hat asking celebrities weird shit. Among the lucky contenders he interviewed was Donald Trump.
In 2003, Ali G submitted him to his elevator business pitch about gloves that protect your hands from getting sticky or cold while eating ice cream. The exchange started with Ali G asking Trump, “What is the most popularest thing in the world?” and Trump replied with “Music.” Baron Cohen brought him back down to Earth: The answer is ice cream, you bigoted cow. Everyone knows that. You’re not fit to run for office. Don’t disrespect the dairy like that. Wait I just called you a cow. (OK, that’s how I would have said it, at least).
Trump didn’t just fall prey to the scheme — he dazzled him instead with a solution to the national ice cream crisis. “Non-melting ice cream,” he suggested. And then they bantered for a little bit. Because that’s how you behave when you’re feeling scammed or Punk’d, right? Like when some dude from an unknown number calls out of breath demanding your PIN number for security reasons, you engage in a friendly ol’ chat!
Trump doesn’t have much to brag about, and this certainly fits the bill: He claims he left the interview early. Ohhh, burn! But like, his entire life is one big Ali G interview, says one commenter, correctly. And Baron Cohen says he spoke to Trump for an entire seven minutes. That’s a long time, even for any Ali G interview. It’s called “Seven Minutes In Heaven” for a reason — a looootta shit can happen in those 420 seconds.
It’s been 10 years since Borat was released, and I still unironically and very enthusiastically exclaim “Mai waif!” when I find a cool pair of shoes, or “Great success!” when I manage to backup my phone on iCloud (it’s happened once).
Here’s the original Ali G interview:
And here’s his Late Late Show appearance:
This is all a testament to the transcendent oeuvre of Sacha Baron Cohen. And this dickish discovery is arguably his most important one.
Original by Marissa Miller @Marissa__Miller