There’s a clear winner here
Once you start exploring your body and the bodies of others, you may realize that intimacy can feel different with different people. Sometimes it’s just downright dirty and hardcore. Other times, your emotions are so intense that it physically feels better that the harder stuff. This phenomenon is known as the classic debate on whether a wild roll in the hay or passionate love-making is more fun.
These people have done the deed enough times to know the difference and to have an answer for you.
I don’t think there’s a one-size-fits-all answer for this. Personally, I almost always keep my eyes closed, although I’m trying to open them more lately. At first I may have done it because I felt uncomfortable with myself, but then it just became a habit and allowed me to really focus on the sensations without distractions.
I’m trying to open them these days because I realized I may be missing out on the deeper connection of eye contact. Keeping my eyes open just doesn’t come naturally for me at all. (starfishingit)
In the Moment
Sex is very important to a healthy relationship. However, many people over-compartmentalize the act of sex in a relationship. If you love the person with whom you have relations, then you are making love. Additionally, you are having sex.
Just allow yourself and your partner to enjoy what you are doing. Don’t over think, compartmentalize, or devalue sexual relations by drawing a line in the sand. Don’t force something on your partner which will force them to be fake. Just enjoy one another. (Johnmona)
The Love Factor
With my ex, we never made love, because he didn’t truly love me. Our love life wasn’t terrible and at the time I thought it was the greatest but he was also my first sexual relationship. He was a selfish person, in all aspects of our relationships but especially in bed. He would get frustrated if he didn’t climax, wouldn’t even try to last longer than a few minutes, never went down on me, the list goes on and on.
When I first “made love” to my current boyfriend, it was about half a year into our relationship, I was blown away. When I get really turned on I start shaking, involuntary jerks even, but this was a different kind of shake. It’s the kind of shakes you get when you’re texting a guy you really really like and you think he might like you back, or after you gain the courage to kiss someone for the first time. It was like I was discovering a whole new feeling towards him.
I wasn’t forcing myself to think about love, I just was by default. The noises that came from both of us were different, I didn’t feel a need to rush or “get there”. After we were done we were both in bliss and couldn’t stop kissing each other. (LettuceWouldntFit)
Best of Both
In a good healthy relationship, you need both. Some nights we take it slow and make love, other nights it’s hard, fast, and just f**king. It’s, and this is my opinion, how you know you may have found someone you are truly compatible with, it’s also the sex you will miss if you ever break it off. (ooo-X3R0-ooo)
Not in Love
I’m 39 years old and I still don’t think I’ve ever made love. I’ve started off making love but instinct or habit kicks in and I end up going back to the rough style. (Jrc7711)
I’ve made love maybe twice. With my most recent ex, we would start out slow and sweet and sensual, but every single time I would end up being jack hammered before I even knew what was happening. (_planetoi)
I’ve been lucky enough so have done both the last few days, the full on kinky sex is incredible, but nothing beats the intimacy you feel when you have a relationship strong enough to make love. I think both sex and making love are so needed in a healthy relationship!
Me and my husband seem to have found a healthy balance of the two. I’m an incredibly lucky girl! (CookiesandcoffeeOo)
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Original by Emily Hingle