There are few things as important in life as the right proposal. If you’ve been with your significant other for a while, you probably know that you’re going to propose soon, and they probably know, too. But whether it should be big or small, a surprise or an inevitability, that’s up to you. Let’s take a look at ways to find the perfect way to propose.
Talk to Them About Other Proposals
Keep in mind that your loved one might love, for instance, big public proposals — but might not actually want one themselves. Talk to them about other proposals you’ve seen, show them pictures of “funny” proposals, and start a conversation. You can do this in a way that’s not too obvious, especially if you aren’t going to be proposing right away. Get a feel for what they might like… and what things they find tacky or too on-the-spot.
Decide Whether Private or Public
A big proposal can be a lot. Think about all those “prom-posals” that teens are doing now — proposals can involve photographers and even choreographed dances. This depends on your time, your budget, and the person you love. There’s no “right way” to propose, there are only right ways to propose for your soon-to-be spouse.
A private proposal can be ornate and well-considered. Think about what they might want to eat and drink, a special place you can take them to, and other meaningful things. You can give them other gifts leading up to the proposal or just take them on a fantastic trip. A public proposal has, of course, more moving parts; you need to make sure that everything is perfect, the scene is set, and that anyone you hire (such as a photographer) is able to do their job.
Discuss With Friends and Family
Many people have already talked about their perfect proposal with family and friends. They know exactly what they want, but they might not have expressed it because it can seem presumptuous to tell someone else how to propose. A sibling or a best friend is usually the best person to ask for advice.
Be wary of taking advice from people who might not know your significant other today. For instance, a mother might know exactly what her daughter wanted when she was a child, but this could have diverged significantly from the person they are today. Alternatively, a father might know how he wants his son to be proposed to, but that might not mesh with how his son actually wants things to be. Family members may have loaded opinions — ask a few people and consider when you’re getting conflicting information.
Always Talk About the Future First
A proposal should be a surprise. But marriage shouldn’t. What does that mean?
When proposals go wrong, it’s often because the couple hasn’t really talked. You should know that your significant other wants to get married and that they’re expecting to get proposed to soon. This doesn’t take the magic out. They don’t know when you’re going to propose or how. But not knowing whether your significant other really wants to get married is a recipe for disaster and hurt feelings.
As an example, in talking to your significant other you might find out that they want to get married, but they would like to manage their debt first. If you don’t have a serious conversation, that could lead to them giving a “no” or just a hesitant “yes” when they really do want to get married — but they have things to discuss.
By discussing things in advance, you can pave the way for a wonderful moment that has no doubt, rather than a moment that may require questions and clarifications in the future. Marriage is, of course, an on-going discussion that is going to need to continue.
Find the Perfect Ring
Once you know how you’re going to propose, you have to find the absolutely perfect ring. It’s difficult to know when you have it; often, you need to look at dozens of engagement rings before you see “the one.”
The best way to start is to take a look at their jewelry. You might even want to bring a ring or two in to show the jeweler. Different people have different styles. Some want chunky, modern jewelry. Other people want very elegant, delicate filigree. You can find something that matches their style and find the right ring for your budget at a professional jeweler that will work with you, like Occasions Fine Jewelry.
Involve Something They Love
Above all, know that your proposal needs to be tailored to the person you love. Consider their hobbies and the things they love. Mystery novels? Get a signed copy of a novel and write your proposal in it. Games? Find a game they love and theme their proposal to it. By finding something they love, you make the proposal feel unique, and you show that you care about them as a person.
You know your significant other more deeply than anyone else on earth. So, it’s up to you to know the right way to propose. If you can’t think of the proposal that would make most sense to them, it might be that you haven’t explored your talks about marriage or proposal enough. Have some conversations and really think about the things that would make your loved one happy.