The majority of both men and women believe that men should be opening their wallets on dates, according to a new study. Most men and women presume that men should pay for most expenses, even after multiple dates, and in fact, a surprising number of guys feel guilty when a woman pays.
Three professors at Wellesley, Cal State and Chapman University analyzed data from a 2008 NBC News poll, primarily of Americans, and zeroed in on the 17,000 heterosexual unmarried/single folks who participated. They found that an expectation of chivalry and traditional gender roles while dating, at least in the early stages, with 84 percent of men and 58 percent of women saying men should foot the bill. A little over half the women surveyed said they offer to help pay for expenses; however, 39 percent said they hoped the man would decline the offer and use his own money.
Of the women surveyed, 44 percent didn’t like when men expected the woman to help pay for the date. But this setup doesn’t continue for long: 44 percent of men said they wouldn’t continue to date a woman if she never offered to pay. But these men have contradicting thoughts about it: 76 of the men surveyed said they would feel guilty accepting a date’s money. So men want a date who offers to pay, but don’t want to actually take her money.
The study also addressed the notion that if a man pays on a date, he will expect sex in exchange. Although a minority of the men and women in the study connected sex and a man paying for the date, more women than men said they expected sex when the man spent money on her. According to the study, one in six men expected sexual acts from women if they paid for the date. Unsurprisingly, the men that always paid for dates but wished their date would pay were twice as likely to expect sex than the men that always paid and were OK with it. It’s 2013, dudebros! Women can split the bill (or, hell, pick up a check on dates that she initiates) and she should never feel like sex is something she owes.
Then again, this study is based on a self-selecting online poll — so take it with a grain of salt.[Gothamist]