These drivers have seen some things
It seems almost everyone is utilizing Uber and Lyft these days. These apps make it easy to track your driver, you don’t have to worry about having cash on hand, they are friendly, and they feel safer than other options.
With so many Uber and Lyft drivers around the world now, they are bound to have good stories of passengers misbehaving. Drunken college kids, puke, and of course, some sexy times by amorous couples who just can’t wait to get home.
Read the best stories Uber and Lyft drivers have of their passengers (and themselves) getting funky.
Picked up this very tall and somewhat muscular looking black girl carrying what looks like a tackle box. She was dressed somewhat.. risque. Gets in the car and I said hello, she responds with a pretty deep voice. We started the trip and she was telling me that she was on her way to do makeup for one of her friends, and her phone rang.
She answered the call, and it started off pretty standard, I wasn’t really paying attention. Suddenly I just hear “Girl, what’re you worried about? You have a great lookin clit.”
Hmmm. Alright then. Where’s this going? “No, Derek is super sweet, it’ll be fun I promise.” “No girl, he’s just gonna come through the doors…” “Yes I’ll be there. I’ll be outside the doors as one of the topless guards. Anyway, he’s going to pan through doors, focus in on you on the bed. Just start playing with yourself, nothing you haven’t done before.” “Yes, after a few minutes of doing that you call for the guards, and I come in and we f**k.” “Yes I brought the strap-on, it’s in the makeup box.”
And that’s the story of the person planning their p*rno during an Uber ride…. (Marnett05)
We have a driver here who has been advertising on Craigslist and has his girlfriend ride in the back seat and arranges specific pick ups so she can give you a hand job during your trip. (DougalisGod)
The struggle for 5 stars is real. (Le_Reddit_Elder)
That Clean-up Fee
My friend told me about a couple who got into his car. They were slightly drunk talking nonsense to each other so he didn’t pay much attention, just kept driving and occasionally checking on them through the rearview mirror.
Eventually the girl got quiet so he checked in the mirror and didn’t see her, and my innocent friend thought she was asleep and even laughed about it with the guy. Well, not long after that he passed a speed bump and heard the guy saying “oh s**t!” at the same time a gurgling sound was heard and a smell of booze+sour filled up the whole car.
So yeah, the girl was sucking off her boyfriend/whatever, the speed bump caused her to deep throat and vomit all over the backseat and my poor friend still had to drive around with a vomit smelling car. At least they rated him 5 stars. (ohbromybro)
I had a fare where two drunk people who were making out in the back of my cab. This isn’t unusual on it’s own, happens quite often, just gotta stop them before s**t gets out of hand.
Well, one of them decides to stop making out and says to me” Don’t tell anyone, okay?”. Curious, I ask why, he responds “we are cousins and we don’t want our family to find out”…then they went back to making out again. I didn’t once think they could have possibly been cousins, never saw either people before or after. Could have just kept his mouth shut and I’d never have known, Why would you disclose that information to a stranger? (Kootsiak)
Not that kind of Lyft…
I have one from a different point of view, albeit second hand though 100% confirmed. A friend of a friend (male) got into an uber high as a kite. Started chatting up the uber driver. Asked if he could jump up into the front seat. More chatting. Than all of a sudden, attempted to feel uber driver’s (also male) genitals and started kissing his neck.
Charged with sexual assault. Dropped down to something where he did community service and paid a fine. (jeff_nacler)
Happened about a year ago, but I had Uber’d a girl from the university in my area. She was pale, freckled, blue eyes, with dirty blond hair, and had a single dread lock twisted within it. We chatted for a bit about our goals and interests in life, she seemed really down to earth. When I brought up that I made music, she asked if I had any songs I could show her. I put on my most played song that I had at the time and more than half the song consisted of her commentary on how much she loved it. Considering how gorgeous this girl was, I was a bit more than flattered.
She tells me to keep it on my SoundCloud and asks me if I had ever gotten head while listening to my own music. I tell her no and that I had been single for a while. Her response was music to my ears, “Well there’s a first time for everything, right”? At this point I’m praying I don’t crash my car with the jolt of endorphins rushing through me.
Long story short, I blew my load before we reached destination and let’s just say she was no quitter. I got her number, but nothing evolved beyond that. She still listens to my music, according to SoundCloud. (TYL3RL4)
Original by Chewy Boese