Science! It’s pretty crazy, right? Like how about this guy who John Millward, who devoted countless hours to a new study on finding the perfect porn star. That’s right: Millward’s study “Deep Inside” (hahahah you so funny) studied more than 10,000 porn stars and their careers in order to come up with the “ideal” porn star.

Millward went through every listing in the Adult Film Database to attempt to suss out patterns and preferences among porn stars. “I was able to scrutinize adult performers in a way no man, despite regular attempts to do so, had ever managed before, and find out once and for all which stereotypes about porn stars are true, which are bogus, and what these men and women have been doing for the last forty years,” said Millward.

What did he find?

Well, after doing a bunch of smooshing of math facts and figures, he worked up the perfect amalgam of all porn stars. She isn’t actually blonde, like you might have imagined. She’s a brunette from California named Nikki with 34B breasts (pictured above). And surprise, surprise, that’s actually smaller than the average American woman, who now sports a D-cup.

Credit: jonmillward.com

Milward also found that around 70 percent of adult film stars are white, while another 14 percent are black, and that the average age women get into porn (or say they get into porn) is 22. You can read the whole deliciously pervy study here.