I reminded myself that I have also had some work done — but looking back at my own choices, I have a similar feeling of confused disbelief. How many women and girls have had work done that they didn’t necessarily “need,” and then went on to regret it or to think they needed more and more? How many of them have never been told that they are beautiful as they are, without ass or breast implants? Was my life so much worse when my breasts were a little smaller? No.

I’m all for women making decisions about their own bodies. But surgery is serious business, and if you’re considering it for cosmetic reasons, you should really think it through, and for a long time. Consider all the things that can go wrong, and how differently your body will not only look, but feel. Are you ready for that? Do you want that? And why? The why is important, because chances are if you don’t face it, it’ll linger long after the scars heal.

Let me be a cautionary tale! I impulsively had three plastic surgery procedures in one day back in 2013. I got breast implants to take me from a B cup to a DD – I actually didn’t want to be as big as a DD, but I was told they can only control how many cc’s they put in, but they don’t necessarily know what cup size you’ll end up with. I would have been fine going up to just a C, which is why I shouldn’t have had surgery at all; with a push-up bra I looked like I was a C. While I was under and on the operating table, I also had a nose job and lipo on my stomach.

Am I so much happier with my body now? Honestly, no. If you’re like me, and you’re one of those people who will always find flaws, there will always be something in need of “fixing.” Having bigger tits probably won’t make you like yourself more, because you’re not tackling the root of the problem that made you think you needed bigger tits in the first place. No one really speaks honestly about cosmetic surgery – especially the surgeons themselves. They’re selling you a fantasy and chasing that fantasy is becoming increasingly normalized as if it’s no big deal, despite any evidence that it’s actually attainable. These “doctors” identify and pick at your insecurities, convince you that you’ll look better after surgery, and as a result, you will BE better and your life will too. I went in with the sole purpose of getting my breasts augmented — I hadn’t even thought of having lipo or getting a nose job … until it was suggested to me by a plastic surgeon.

Before I had surgery, no one told me I would have nerve pain in one of my breasts. No one warned me about how emotionally taxing it would be to go through three procedures all at once, and on television, no less. No one cared enough to ask me why I disliked myself so much that I would voluntarily undergo a dangerous procedure with a painful and long recovery period. I don’t know that I would have even been able to answer them if they had. I just wanted to feel like someone else. I wasn’t happy being me, but I didn’t realize that it had nothing to do with my cup size. Plastic surgery didn’t heal those wounds, but learning to show myself some empathy did.

Before you jump into surgery, really think about it – think about why you’re doing it and if the results could ever possibly be enough. Understand that it probably won’t “change your life” the way you might be hoping. Try to love yourself a little more everyday. That will do more than a boob job ever could, I promise.

Original by Sydney Leathers @sydneyelainexo