Instagram loves to censor female nipples but is a little less discerning when it comes to penises. Breastfeeding mothers often find that their pictures are taken down as well as any female celebrity who posts a magazine cover shoot in which their goods are on full display. Yet, this picture of Justin Bieber grabbing his junk in a pair of teensy Calvin Klein briefs lives on for three days and counting. For those of you who don’t remember that heady time in October 2015, Justin Bieber’s penis is something that the entire world has seen before. In fact, if you’re looking for dick, Instagram is a pretty good place to seek it out.
In January comedian Eric Andre posted a full-frontal nude photo of himself – dick swinging, pubic hair enjoying some freedom – and Instagram’s censors let that shit fly for a full 12 hours and change before yanking it down. #EggplantFriday, a popular and free-wheeling hashtag featuring well-hung dudes showing their dicks off while dressed in compression shorts, boxer briefs or sweatpants was swiftly banned by Instagram, as if the suggestion of a giant wang, lurking under some poly-blend-and-lyrca would offend delicate sensibilities. And erstwhile rapper The Game took the Dickprint Wars to new heights, via his awe-inspiring and bluntly “erotic” photos of himself, his giant penis and his athletic bottom of choice, accompanied by hashtags that deserve their own award for, uh, something.
Instagram was nice enough to let the wang pics fly unfettered for about three weeks, but they were flagged enough times by the community to be eventually removed. A deep dive of The Game’s feed resulted in only one photo that could be construed as controversial. It’s from Valentine’s Day, and while his hashtag game remains strong, the outline of his giant member is not nearly as visible as it usually is.
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#HappyValentinesDaySpecial #DidYouWakeUpToRoses #HowManyCauseOneDozenAintEnough #YouDeserveARoseForEveryHairYouShavedOffThatVajajay #ChocolatesAintGoneCutItThisYear #YouDeserveAChanelBag #IMeanYouGottaPussyDontYou #YouBeenLettinThatNiggaLickYouSinceLastValentines #HeOweYou #YouBeenLettinHimInsideThatWarmSummersDayLovePouchHaventYou #NiggasCryOverPussy #DieOverPussy #ItsWorthMoreThanAnythingOnTheEarth #SoAintNoWayEveryWomanInTheWorldShouldntBeLickedFromFrontToBikeToday #WhyCantYouFlossOnTheGramOneTime #DontLetYoGirlsPostFlyShitWhileYouPostingQuotesBihh #MakeYoNiggaGiveYouWhatYouDeserve #WhatIsThatYouAsk #YouDeserveRosesABagSomeShoesAndYoPussyAteWhileLovesJonesPlaysOnTheTVinTheBackground #MakesTheseNiggasPay #GodGaveYouThePower #NowOpenYaLegsAndCloseEmRealQuick #Yea #ShowEmHowASunnyDayCanTurnIntoAStormWitDatPussy #ItsYoDay #DropsMic
Good lord. Anyway! These pictures of The Game are really no different from the Biebs’ sad handful of wang’n’Calvins.
So, while The Game’s social media presence has been effectively scrubbed of any photo that shows the topography of his very large penis, the Biebz’ handful of soft meat and boxer briefs remains. Does Instagram fear big dicks? Is there some sort of subsection of their decency code or whatever that lets medium-sized dicks and the little bitty ones slide, while silencing the well-endowed? Is The Game’s meat doing too much, while Bieber’s is merely doing the bare minimum? If you’re going to go hard on censorship, dick should be policed just as strictly as the flash of an areola from a nursing mother. How long will Instagram allow Bieber’s Vienna sausage to flourish? We’ll just have to wait and see.
Original by: Megan Reynolds @mega_hurt