If you’re reading this right now I don’t need to give you any reasons why you should date a Virgo. You’ve already found one that makes you want to text them 24/7 and maybe marry them and have their obsessively organized little babies. But since you yourself are quite curious and maybe even confused by your Virgo crush, it can be helpful to know what you’re getting into and if they’re really that analytical all the time (spoiler: yup).
It’s important to note that none of these things should dissuade you from dating them or convince you they’re obviously your soulmate (would that that were an article you could read) and that people of all signs can be awful. Still, with that said, based on my knowledge of Virgos and the well-worn tropes about how Virgos in the world behave, there a few things you might want to know before devoting all your time and energy into these magical yet complicated humans.
If you are messy, they will love you through the tears they shed because you’re so messy.
It’s not that Virgos can’t love someone who is a total slob pile of garbage, they can and they do sometimes. But in a perfect world you would have an all eggshell white home with no stains and no clutter because that would cause them to orgasm daily.
Everything you ever say to them will go through 18 analysis filters.
When you’re still getting to know them, a Virgo’s setpoint is almost always “what the fuck did that mean?” but that’s partly because they choose their words so carefully and also they don’t know you. Once they know your heart and your mind, their furrowed brow will relax but until then, explaining your point as clearly as you mean it will help them to not spend the next 16 hours wondering if you secretly meant something else.
They are as sensitive as that sweater you’re afraid to wear because it’s so delicate, but times 200.
That’s not to say they’re touchy or overly sensitive, but they have very big, squishy hearts and very big, overactive brains, so if you’re a considerate, thoughtful human being they will loooove you.
Prepare to go through a rigorous screening process.
If you’ve been hanging around them more and more lately you probably had a hunch that every time you hang out you’ve been on a series of informal job interviews for the position of Person Who Gets To Be In My Life. While that might seem way too intense to you, just know Virgos get a ton of applicants and often have had a lot of horrible past, um, coworkers? Employees? Whatever. The point is, Virgos give a lot and expect a lot in return. They’re just making sure you’re someone who’s worth their time and if you are, just show them that and they’ll stop staring at you like a white shirt you might spill coffee on.
As hard as they are on you, they’re even harder on themselves if you can possibly imagine that.
A common complaint about Virgos is how freaking hard they are on everyone and that’s fair. What you should know is that all of their “You know, you should push yourself! Be better! Work harder! Do more!” nudging they give to other people is also going on in their own heads 24/7. In a perfect world, they wouldn’t be hard on themselves or anyone else, but also you can’t blame them for wanting everyone to be their best selves. It’s actually really admirable and cute.
That borderline virgin vibe they give off is only kind of accurate.
There’s something about so many Virgos that, when you see them, you’re like “OK, I know they’re 26, so they’ve probably kissed people, but I am just not seeing it.” This apparent innocence is not entirely untrue, but it’s not entirely a fact either. The best way I ever heard it put was one astrology site that said something like “Virgos seem the most innocent ever until they’re really comfortable with you. Once that happens, watch out.” So basically, yeah, they’re not a girl not yet a woman or something. Even the guys.
It’s very likely we’re have gold medals in 60+ things we haven’t even mentioned yet.
Virgos are so modest, yet so good at so many things that I bet when people who don’t know who Beyoncé is in a rural Waffle House she’d be like, “Yeah, I make music sometimes,” and they’d be like, “That sounds nice. Whatever.” Virgos would rather just get to know you as people and then be like, “Surprise! I have 15 Gold Medals and an Oscar. Anyway, let’s eat snacks.”
Yeeeeeah, the judgmental thing is kind of always going to be there.
They don’t mean any harm but judgment is a part of their process and honestly “don’t take it personally” is as much advice as I can give on this one.
If you don’t pay attention to details they will pay attention to how much you are not paying attention to details.
If you’re someone who goes with the flow or just likes to see what happens or says things like “it is what it is,” you are in for a bumpy-ass ride. Virgos plan out every single detail of their lives to an insane degree, so if you picked up Silk Soymilk Vanilla when they expressly asked you for Silk Almond Milk Unsweetened and even sent you a photo of what the package looks like and a map of the store, like, what are you even doing in their lives? Plus, Virgos are usually so stressed out by making sure they’ve gotten every single detail of everyone’s lives ever correct that someone who doesn’t give a shit about the details mind cause a total mind melt. Not advised.
If they were a bank, their interest rates would be like 1200%.
As much as Virgos might require of you, they’re gonna give you back that times a million. So mind the details, let them look you over and make sure you pass inspection, nurture their sensitive Virgo spirit, and you’ll have the most loyal, considerate partner you could ever ask for.
Original by Lane Moore