• About Us
  • Contact Us
  • Latest
  • Terms and Conditions
  • Privacy Policy
The Frisky
  • Home
  • News
  • Health
  • Celebs
  • Movies
  • Love
  • Relationships
  • Style
  • Entertainment
  • Parenting
  • Royals
  • Travel
Love & Sex

17 Sex Euphemisms That Won’t Get You Laid

by Billy Antonio December 8, 2019
by Billy Antonio December 8, 2019 Source: WallBox
1.5K

You want to get laid? Congratulations! Most of us do! Should you be in the market for sex with a lady, there are polite ways to inform your potential partner of your amorous desires and totally inappropriate ways to do so. Using an improper sex euphemism can kill her mood faster than you can say “bumping uglies.” After the jump, some unapproved sex euphemisms that won’t lead to porking boning the horizontal polka sexual intercourse.

Related: 30 Unapproved Names For A Woman’s Bush

Source: Marie Claire

  1. Climbing the tree. I’m not trying to feel five again.
  2. Making the beast with two backs. If I wanted a Shakespeare lesson, I would ask.
  3. Throwing a hotdog down a hallway. Are you calling my vagina large and cavernous?
  4. Taking the skin boat to tuna town. This sounds like one of those weird kiddie rides at Disneyland.
  5. Making a magic sandwich. I’ll determine if our sandwich is actually magic or not, thank you very much.
  6. Crashing the custard truck. I don’t want to understand what this means.
  7. Putting some meat in a hot pocket. I don’t like hot pockets, in bed or otherwise.
  8. The mattress Olympics. I’m too tired to do this.
  9. Cleaning the cobwebs with the womb broom. Oh come now, it hasn’t been that long.
  10. Rumpy pumpy. Oh how adorable! Are you going to read me a Dr. Seuss book after we do it?
  11. The monster mash. Only on Halloween or after a Lady Gaga concert.
  12. Batter dip the corn dog. Uh, no thanks.
  13. Fixing the clap flap. I was unaware my “clap flap” was broken.
  14. Pickle tickle. Reserved for Snooki and her gorilla juice heads.
  15. Polish the porpoise. What is the porpoise in this scenario? Please explain.
  16. Vulcanize the whoopee stick. Too geeky.
  17. Cleaning the pipes. You are not my plumber.

Source: sobriety

Related: 10 Crazy Sexual Practices We Were Totally Unaware Of

Original by Amelia McDonell-Parry

euphemismssex talksex terminologyTop 10wont get you laid
Billy Antonio

previous post
Are You Allergic To Your Man’s Sperm?
next post
Juice Wrld Passed Away at Age 21

Related Posts

Top 10 Brands to Shop on Black Friday...

October 19, 2020

8 Little Ways To Deal With This Scary,...

April 12, 2020

Top 10 Wives of Your Favorite NFL Players

March 31, 2020

Categories

  • Accessories
  • Animals
  • Anime
  • Art
  • Astrology
  • Beard Care
  • Beauty
  • Betting
  • Biography
  • Blog
  • Business
  • Buying Guides
  • Cannabis
  • Cars
  • Casino
  • CBD
  • Celebs
  • Children
  • Citizenship
  • Clippers
  • Clothes
  • Computer
  • Couple Time
  • COVID-19
  • Crime
  • Crypto
  • Culture
  • Design
  • DIY
  • Economics
  • Education
  • Entertainment
  • Environment
  • Family
  • Fashion
  • Featured
  • Food
  • Food & Drink
  • Furniture
  • Galleries
  • Gambling
  • Games
  • Gardening
  • Gifts
  • Girl
  • Gossip
  • Guide
  • Guys
  • Hair
  • Hair Care Tips
  • Hair Dryers
  • Hair loss
  • Hairstyles
  • Health
  • Highlights
  • History
  • Hobby
  • Home
  • Horoscopes
  • Hot Rollers
  • How to …
  • Industry
  • Internet
  • Interview
  • Law
  • Legal Advice
  • Life
  • Lifestyle
  • Love & Sex
  • Love Your Self
  • Makeup
  • Marketing
  • Medicine
  • Mind & Body
  • Money
  • Motorcycle
  • Movies
  • Moving
  • Music
  • Nails
  • Net Worth
  • News
  • Parenting
  • People
  • Pets
  • Photography
  • Products for Hair
  • Real Estate
  • Recipes
  • Relationships
  • Religion
  • Royals
  • SEO
  • Shopping
  • Skincare
  • Sports
  • Studying
  • Style
  • Super Stars
  • Tech
  • Technology
  • The Body
  • Tips
  • Tips & Tricks
  • Tools
  • Toys
  • Travel
  • Type
  • Uncategorized
  • Vape
  • Vehicle
  • Video
  • VR
  • Wedding
Footer Logo
  • About Us
  • Contact Us
  • Latest
  • Terms and Conditions
  • Privacy Policy

© 2024 - All Right Reserved.

TheFrisky.com is a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for sites to earn advertising fees by advertising and linking to Amazon.com. Amazon, the Amazon logo, AmazonSupply, and the AmazonSupply logo are trademarks of Amazon.com, Inc. or its affiliates.

We at TheFrisky participate in various affiliate marketing programs, which means we may earn commissions on products or services that we recommend or promote through our website. When you click on a link to purchase a product or service that we have recommended or promoted, we may earn a commission from the sale. This commission helps us maintain and improve our website and provide you with valuable information and resources.

The Frisky
  • Home
  • News
  • Health
  • Celebs
  • Movies
  • Love
  • Relationships
  • Style
  • Entertainment
  • Parenting
  • Royals
  • Travel
The Frisky
  • Home
  • News
  • Health
  • Celebs
  • Movies
  • Love
  • Relationships
  • Style
  • Entertainment
  • Parenting
  • Royals
  • Travel
© 2024 - All Right Reserved.

TheFrisky.com is a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for sites to earn advertising fees by advertising and linking to Amazon.com. Amazon, the Amazon logo, AmazonSupply, and the AmazonSupply logo are trademarks of Amazon.com, Inc. or its affiliates.

We at TheFrisky participate in various affiliate marketing programs, which means we may earn commissions on products or services that we recommend or promote through our website. When you click on a link to purchase a product or service that we have recommended or promoted, we may earn a commission from the sale. This commission helps us maintain and improve our website and provide you with valuable information and resources.
We use cookies to ensure that we give you the best experience on our website. If you continue to use this site we will assume that you are happy with it.OkNoPrivacy policy

Terms and Conditions - Privacy Policy