Parenting has always been a challenging task, and not many people are very successful at it as we see a lot of kids growing up with misplaced identity.
One of many reasons why this parenting dilemma is on the rise is because parents always assume that they know, or should have answers to everything—which is humanly not possible.
The first step to solving these parent-kid crises is for parents to come to the realization that first, they don’t have all the answers, and secondly, that issues that are prompting up in today’s generation is very different from their era as kids.
Most parents think that parenting is guiding or controlling the life experiences of their kids all the way from inception and if possible, to the end. They fail to recognize that parenting is more like a fostering or sponsoring into an arena of new life experiences.
Moreso is the fact that all parents were at one time kids, they are remembering the perceptive of child-parent relationships which they had when they were growing up, making it difficult for them to separate themselves from those memories.
Source: Dr. Nicole Beurkens
And so from the vision of how they experienced parenting, most people go about being parents from a position of what they knew they were never going to do. In other words, they remember all the things they didn’t like, and then they set out on their roles as parents intending not to do it that way. So, as a result, most do not have positive results.
In fact, most parents find that they end up having an almost identical relationship with their children that they had with their parents. By implication, because they are so focused on their experiences, they create a cycle in which they have the same experience all over again.
This and many more reasons are what prompted this article to be written, so just sit back, as we unravel two solutions that might help you educate your kids better, and most importantly make you a better parent.
Socializing your kids
Source: PBS
Socializing your kids is an essential process as this goes a long way in integrating your child into what is regarded as the social norm. Take for example when raising a dog (depending on the type of breed) it is crucial to get the dog acquainted with people (which is socializing) because if this is not done early on, the dog can become very hostile or too shy of people.
The same goes for our kids. Parents should try to integrate their kids into the society at a very early age as this will help in shaping the kids psychic and also help the child in adapting proper and responsible behavior when they find themselves in any social environment.
It is beneficial to note that all kids are not the same. Some kids are naturally extroverts while some are typically introverts and others somewhere in between.
However, if you as a parent notice that your child is perhaps too introverted, then you should endeavor to implement ways or avenue to trigger the extrovertive nature of that child. It could be something as simple as building a pdplay playground at the lawn of your house. Basically, a small nudge or push towards making that child willing to play more.
Because whether we like it or not, we live in a world that is heavily dependent on social interaction—hell humans are social beings.
Modifying your child’s behavior
Source: Verywell Family
Most parents in trying to be physically and emotionally there for their kids, they tend to sacrifice a lot, and by so doing, teach the child to be too dependent on their overcompensation as parents.
What do we mean by that—it may sound very confusing but bear with us, as we will paint a picture for you to drive home our point.
Now supposing you have a kid who usually sleeps on his own, but for some reason, he has been having trouble sleeping through the night.
Then as a caring and loving parent, you decide to invite your child into your bed every night because you feel that this could help him sleep better, and much to your expectation the child starts sleeping better.
But at some point, you are faced with another problem. You find that allowing your child to sleep with you is also affecting your sleep pattern, which is beginning to have its toll on you.
You then have to decide if your selfish interest should be served or that of your child.
Source: Raising Children Network
Most parents will continue to make this sacrifice so long as it is beneficial in helping that child to sleep—but this will be a wrong approach—why is that you say?
Well, here’s why__you want to teach that child to be first selfish in taking care of his needs the same way you are going to be selfish in taking care of your needs first.
You have to teach that child to find ways of solving his sleeping problems. You may be wondering why the word SELFISH. As cynical as that word sounds, it is the truth. You can still be selfish and be a great parent.
But if you choose to continue indulging that child, then you will be laying the groundwork for resistance and resentment on your path and that of the child.
Summary
We hope that you find a proper and healthy technique to manage the relationship between you and your kid, because if you don’t do your due diligence, you may end up having a sore relationship with your adult-kid that is based on sacrifice and resentment rather than one that thrives on balance and alignment.
