I’m really liking this guy I work with. We’ve been spending a little time together outside of work. He isn’t my boss, I only see him at work occasionally, but he is a Cancer, and so am I. We’re both divorced and committed to career. I’m further into divorced life though, and he’s barely divorced — year and a half. I’m a total crab, and if he’s the same, do you think that we’re compatible? I’m trying to go super slow at this, because he’s still skittish about relationships. He tells me he just wants to “have fun,” but he talks to mutual friends about me. I think that’s a good thing. I’m a hard-shelled girl, so if this turns out to be “just fun” sexing, I’m okay, but I really like him. The more time I spend with him, the deeper I get. Give me your thoughts, be honest. —Dizzy Lizzy
Stop right now!!! Even though you say you’d be fine with just sex, obviously it isn’t so — as your next sentence is you saying you’re getting in deeper as you go. Cancer is a heavy-duty emotional sign, as you know, and if you keep proceeding the way you are, it’ll only wind up with you cleaning your heart off the floor. The fact is this guy, doesn’t matter what his sign is, has stated he doesn’t want a relationship and is only into sex. Not to say he can’t like you as a person, and talk about you with friends, but that is all it will be. If you try to think what he is saying means something else, it’ll only mean screwing yourself with head games. Sure, you can wait for love on the installment plan, but there are no guarantees — and why wait for something that has such a slim chance of happening, while you are emotionally falling deeper??? Why torture yourself like that?
Plus, as it goes with Cancer men, if he’s not in love ASAP, it’ll rarely ever happen after the fact. Cancer is an immediate sign; they feel their way through life. If he has any inkling that you can be more than just sex, it would be apparent. Cancer men are romantics and while, yes, they do have hard shells and can be very wishy-washy, when they do set boundaries such as this one with you, you have to respect it. In addition, he is coming right out of a divorce, which reinforces his need to want to play even more, so don’t disregard what he is saying by muting your ears for what your heart wants to hear.
Original by: Kiki T