Last night, I found myself packing up my ex-boyfriend’s stuff in preparation for his move. He didn’t have anyone else willing to help, including friends and family, so he was doing it alone. My main reason for helping, obviously, was because after three months of separation, I missed him. We’ve talked occasionally, so it wasn’t like he had called me out of the blue and said, “Help me pack my s**t!”
Even though we hadn’t seen each other in a while, it still felt like we were friends when I saw him. Not being his girl anymore made it easier to deal with the bra (that wasn’t mine) I found in his drawer. To be fair, he warned me, saying that I might find some things I didn’t want to see. (I believe it was from a previous girlfriend long ago because it was all stretched out and I know he has better taste now.) During the packing process, I started to wonder whether I’m a pushover. He’s not my boyfriend anymore—was helping him with his move too nice a thing for an ex to do, or was I just being a good friend?
After the jump, instances when it’s okay to be good to an ex and when you’re being too nice to the jerk who broke your heart.
How Good A Friend Should You Be To An Ex?
Good
Texting him on his birthday
Emailing him links to job openings
Returning a favorite shirt that he left at your place
Letting him take your extra sporting event ticket
Helping him pick out a new suit
Walking his dog while he’s away for the weekend
Not dishing about the breakup to his friends
Too Good
Throwing him a surprise birthday party
Updating his resume and writing cover letter
Doing his laundry and picking up his dry cleaning
Buying him season tickets post-breakup
Helping him pick out a new suit to wear on a date with his new crush
House sitting for a week while he sows his wild oats in Vegas
Pretending to be BFFs with his friend’s whiny girlfriend because she hates change
Original by Annika Harris