Earlier this week, we asked you: “What Would Get You To Take Your Ex Back?” From a look at the results of the poll, not much. Forty-three percent of you said that there’s nothing he could do to get you to change your mind, and that getting involved again would mean “giving up when I just need to move on.” The unfortunate truth is that you can’t make someone love you.
But! There is a but … what if you still both love each other (either consciously or subconsciously), yet you’ve gone your separate ways? Maybe you never moved on from the feelings you have because no one else compared, or you both weren’t at places in your lives to make things work. In that case, there’s potential to re-ignite the relationship.
Of course, you have to prepare for the probable possibility that your Ex isn’t interested. There’s no middle ground when it comes to re-wooing: either it works, or you have to look at it as an opportunity to finally move on. The not knowing still driving you crazy? Here, we looked at what you said, put in our own two cents, and came up with some tips to give it a go, both for guys and girls.
- The talk. Guys, you have an easier time, because all you have to really do is say something.Twenty-nine percent of you (and we’re going to assume most of you are ladies) said that if he wants to talk about things, it’s a sign he really cares.
- Turning your life into a romantic comedy. This one totally bites because it’s really only an option for a guy to make a huge romantic gesture like showing up on your doorstep. When a girl does it, she risks looking desperate. But then again, you are. Don’t spend the money and effort unless you are totally sure the person misses you.
Resigning yourself to being a friend with benefits. A likely reason you’re not together anymore is that he didn’t want to work things through in the first place. So no way will he want to dive into the complicated. If it’s just nookie that’s up for offer, he might take it. This increases your chances of going back into a real relationship, only because you’re seeing each other more (um, as opposed to not). The chances he’ll want more than just something physical? Slim to none. You take the gamble.
- Reminders of what was good. Try digging up your old emails and forwarding an exchange that was particularly cute or loving. Going back to memories might jog the heartache.
- Hot Facebook photos. This might just pique curiosity. Don’t make them overly sexy. That’s just a cry for attention.
- Get way hotter. Shallow? Yes. Effective? Yes.
What doesn’t work:
- Proposing. Easy there, cowboy! Way to freak someone out.
- The pour-your-heart-out, five-page email or letter. Yes, you have a lot to say, but save it for later. Discussing every detail and thought you have is guaranteed to be overwhelming for the reader (plus, who has attention spans these days anyway?).
- Gifts. C’mon. Haven’t you ever listened to the Beatles?
- Repeat efforts. We said this before—you get one chance. After that, you become annoying.
- Faking being preggos. ‘Nuff said.
Original by Leonora Epstein