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Relationships

Wrinkle, Schminkle: The Upside To Aging

by Vesna Novkovic July 11, 2019
by Vesna Novkovic July 11, 2019 Source: Pixabay
1.3K

Remember when you were a kid and you couldnโ€™t wait to get older? Whether it was a driverโ€™s license, an ID that let you drink legally, or your own grown-up apartment, being older just seemed so much more glamorous. Soย mature.

Then at some point all the good parts about aging start to fall to the wayside. Instead of reaching maturity, you find yourself reaching for a box of Feria to cover the gray hair you just discovered. That ID you were once so happy to flash becomes a source of embarrassment as you realize the doorman is giving you the โ€œthis bitch is bringing down our cool-factorโ€ face. The worst partโ€”people no longer look surprised when you tell them your age.

Gulp.

In an attempt to make myself feel better about being another year closer to death, I assembled an all-ages panel of women to e-discuss the myriad merits of aging. And, you know, we came up with some really good points!

Contents

  • Youโ€™re no longer crazyโ€”youโ€™re eccentric!
  • You donโ€™t sweat the small โ€”or small-mindedโ€”stuff!
  • Who cares about cool?
  • People give you money!
  • Your feet quit hurting!
  • Thereโ€™s always someone hotter, thinner and youngerโ€”yawn.
  • Sex gets betterโ€”no, really!

Youโ€™re no longer crazyโ€”youโ€™re eccentric!

Youngsters can get away with wearing anything. When I was 20, I had a foot-high mohawk and used a tartan scarf wrapped around my butt as a skirt. But you hit 30 and itโ€™s expected that youโ€™ll quit shopping at thrift stores and start dropping coin at tasteful joints like J.Crew. What Iโ€™m excited about is getting to the age where I can embrace my inner Mrs. Roper (Google her, whippersnappers!) and start rockinโ€™ muumuus and Crazy Colors once again.

Source: Pixabay

You donโ€™t sweat the small โ€”or small-mindedโ€”stuff!

โ€œYouโ€™re no longer rebelling against your parents or trying to escape the family you were born into,โ€ says Sherrill Tippins, author ofย February Houseย and an upcoming history of the Chelsea Hotel. She adds, โ€œAnd you no longer waste time hanging out with people you donโ€™t like.โ€

Who cares about cool?

Letโ€™s face it, once youโ€™re past 30, youโ€™re technically uncool anyway, but at a certain age, you quit caring about it. Does it really matter that youโ€™ve never heard of three-quarters of the bands playing SXSW? Nope. Plus, as writer Virginia Vitzthum points out, โ€œIf you are sort of cool then you get to be the ambassador of agingโ€”we can be the example that you donโ€™t have to stay home and watch โ€˜Murder She Wroteโ€™ reruns!โ€ As long as no one tries to take away my โ€œGolden Girls.โ€

People give you money!

Comedian/professional smarty-pants Jen Dziura started her first company when she was just twenty. Starting that young, she said, โ€œItโ€™s pretty hard to convince people to trust you with large sums of money. But in your thirties, itโ€™s much easier.โ€ Sherrill agrees that making money gets easier. โ€œYou have a pretty good idea of what your time/skills/experience are worth. So youโ€™re better able to turn down jobs that donโ€™t pay well enough.โ€ While nobody has entrusted me with largeโ€”or even mediumโ€”sums of money, I am getting paid to do something I love, which is more than I can say for most of my twenties.

Source: Pixabay

Your feet quit hurting!

Publicist-turned-poet Yvonne Garrett attests, โ€œsensible shoes no longer bum me out.โ€ I hear you, sister! I have about ten pairs of stilettos in my closet. The last time I wore a pair was four years ago and I had to go home early because my feet hurt so bad. Iโ€™m not a Crocs-wearer now (NEVER!), but these days, my shoes have to feel as sassy as they look.

Thereโ€™s always someone hotter, thinner and youngerโ€”yawn.

Painter Tracey St. Peter says one of the benefits of aging is that โ€œyou donโ€™t have to give a crap about competing with other girls. It is so liberating and saves so much stress and time.โ€ I agree. Liberating is a great word for it. Thatโ€™s no reason to give up and swaddle yourself in novelty sweats and mom jeans, but learning to work with what youโ€™ve got is certainly healthier than bogus โ€œcleansesโ€ and frantic trips to the dermatologist every time you spot a line.

Sex gets betterโ€”no, really!

One randy broad I spoke with informed me that โ€œorgasms were always were great but got SO much better once I hit my thirties.โ€ Maybe itโ€™s because we know what works, maybe because weโ€™re less afraid of putting a guy off by asking for it … who really cares why? Iโ€™m not going to look a gift orgasm in the mouth. Also, if youโ€™ve had babies and experienced subsequent parental bed death, you can look forward to an empty nest, full of unspoiled surfaces once they leave. As Sherrill points out, โ€œSex is much better after the kids are out of the house.โ€ (Flashback to hearing my parents doing itโ€”eww!)

So while Iโ€™m still not thrilled to be turningย mumblemumble, Iโ€™m not dreading it like I was. The fact that Iโ€™ll be poolside in Puerto Rico also makes it a lot less painful.

Original by ย Judy McGuire

agingjudy mcguire
Vesna Novkovic

Vesna is a staff writer and content editor at TheFrisky.

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