I’m really supportive of sexual experimentation…for other people. I want everyone to have awesome sex, as often as they want, with as many people as they want, doing the things they want. In my own personal life, though? I’m pretty unadventurous (ie, boring). This extends way beyond my sex life too – I haven’t switched up my hair in months, I tend to order the same things whenever I go out to restaurants, I haven’t tried to make new friends in an eternity…basically, I think 90 percent of everything is trash, so when I stumble upon something I like, I cling to it for dear life. Which isn’t to say I’m totally averse to taking risks in the bedroom, but after my brief-yet-painful dalliance with anal, I’m much more discerning about what I’m willing to push my boundaries for. There are a few sexual activities that are absolute non-starters for me.
1. Having porn on in the background
Not only do I find porn boring, I would be a little perturbed if me, in my own naked state, was not erotic/stimulating/exciting enough for someone else.
I completely disagree with Pitbull’s assertion that “two’s a crowd, three’s a party.” While I get the appeal of threesomes in theory, in reality, I know that I would end up being jealous, resentful, and/or totally left out if my boyfriend and I invited another person to our party.
3. Aggressive BDSM
I’m cool with remedial BDSM, but once whips, chains, handcuffs, and creepy Christian Grey-type contracts get involved, it becomes the antithesis of hot to me. More than anything, the feeling of exacting control or relinquishing control makes me extremely anxious.
4. Tantric sex
I literally cannot imagine being actively entangled with someone for several hours. Maybe it’s because I generally prefer more…energetic, frenetic paced fornicating that is generally unsustainable, but the idea of having drawn-out, extensive lovemaking bores me to tears.
5. Non-communicative sex
The main distinction between all of my “good” and “bad” sexual experiences is that the good ones were always with partners who were willing to both listen and talk to me (and this was even before I started doing p-in-v). It doesn’t matter how technically skilled a guy may be – if he’s not going to listen to my ground rules or express what he wants, then it’s just not going to work at all.