Attention men of humble endowment, we’ve been telling you forever that it’s not the size that counts. But you didn’t believe us. So a Danish website Singlesex.dk decided to host a small penis competition to help prove that penis size is not at the core of manhood. “There are so many unhappy men out there, who think you have to have a giant penis, but it’s not normal to have a huge one,” says site owner Morten Fabricus. AMEN!
The man with the smallest dick in Denmark will be handsomely rewarded with an iPhone or iPad. That should do wonders to boost his ego! From now until January 31, Danish fellows can enter by posting an anonymous dick pic with a measuring tape next to their member. May the smallest man win!
If your penis or vagina is the competitive type, click through for some more real competitions you can enter your genitals in.
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Miss Beautiful Vagina Pageant
Vag Pageants. Don’t laugh. They’re real. The Annual Vagina Beauty Pageant takes place at Club Rouge in Portland, Oregon. The top vagina wins $500. This is Miss Beautiful Vagina 2011. Yay for her! You can read more about the details of the vag pageant here. I will tell you that there are magnifying glasses involved and vajazzling and other decorations are highly encouraged.
Source: thehealthy
Strongest Penis Competition
In Taiwan, Qigong masters can compete in a special strength competition with their willies. These penis strongman competitions include stuff like swinging heavy weights and pulling ten-ton vehicles with their dicks. WHOA. [Ebaums World]
Vagina Weightlifting
Tatiata Kozhevnikova, is the Russian woman with the world’s strongest vagina. Guinness World Records actually crowned her queen of the vaginas. Her super-powered vag lifted a custom bar bell made of two glass balls, weighing roughly 31 lbs,. That’s the size of a medium Thanksgiving turkey! If you think your lady flower is that tough, you’d better get going with those kegels. I don’t know where you can enter a vaginal weightlifting competition, but surely, they exist.
Source: medium
Masturbate-A-Thon
If the thing your P or V is really talented at is the art of masturbation, you can show off you skills in one of the many competitions at the Annual Masturbate-A-Thon. This year, Sonny Nash broke the World Record for Longest Time Spent Masturbating/ Male by wanking for 10 hours and 10 minutes. That must hurt, no? Another World Record was broken by D. Hardie spurring the longest distance. Don’t worry ladies, there are also plenty of competitions for you, too. You can compete in something called Teledildonics. Can someone tell me what that is? Sounds very futuristic. [Wiki]
Air Sex World Championships
It’s exactly what it sounds like. Simulated sex with the air. You can compete locally, and if you ace that, you’re national! Rules of Air Sex Championships are as follows: you have two minutes to perform an Air Sex routine to the music of your choice. Everything must be simulated and you must have at least one invisible person or object that you are humping. Certainly your penis or vagina is up for that challenge.
Source: vice
Nudes A Poppin Pageants
If you prefer to travel light (like with nothing), you can travel to Roselawn, Indiana and compete in one of the many competitions at the Nudes A Poppin Festival. There are pageants for Mr. and Ms. Nude Entertainer, Mr. and Ms. Nude Rising Star and many, many more.
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