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For better or worse?
Marriage isn’t easy. People are happy as clams when they take those wedding vows, but do those couples know that the chances of them getting divorced are about 40 to 50%? And that doesn’t suggest that the other 50 to 60% of couples are actually happy in their marriages.
It’s sad to think about, especially if you are at an age when a lot of your friends are friends announce their engagements on social media. Of course you are happy for them (and maybe a little sad for yourself if you are single), but what’s their relationship going to be like in twenty years? Or even two years? It’s a fair thought as most couples do eventually grow apart.
Then, they turn to Whisper to vent their frustrations… and they’re really, really mean.
Hot or Not
“I hate how my wife used to be hot and now she’s a disgusting cow. So embarrassing.”
What’d you’d think would happen when a human being ages? It makes you wonder if this dude looks the same as he did on his wedding day… and if he only married her because she was “hot.” Get joint gym memberships or yoga classes for a gift, or, ya know, try to be a bit less superficial?
Full of Hate
“Hate my job.
Hate my life.
Hate my kids.
Hate my wife.
…don’t know how I do it.
Judas led me to it.”
Sounds like this guy maybe just blindly followed societal expectations: Get married, have kids, buy a house with a white picket fence in the suburbs, etc.
WHAT?!
“I’m a single father because it’s the right thing to do. Secretly, I hate and resent my kids for robbing me of anything I enjoy.”
Oh, hell no! You knew what you were getting into when you had those kids. You should hate and resent your own life choices. THIS IS ALL ON YOU. Kids are innocent. Wanna go get laid or have a night out with your guy friends? Hire a babysitter.
Cryptic
“I’m realizing… I hate my wife. She’s a horrible partner and a poor mother… My easiest days are the ones she’s not here.
But how can I admit that I was wrong…?”
We can only guess what this husband was “wrong” about. Cheating? Abuse? This couple obviously has non-existent communication skills. Go to couples therapy or GTFO.
Big Sister
“Sometimes I absolutely hate my oldest child and can’t stand her. She makes everything so difficult. I hate being a dad. I know that sounds horrible.”
If the girl is a teenager, I can relate to her bratty, entitled behavior. Going through puberty really sucks with all those hormones magnifying every emotion. You could always take her to the school counselor, a private therapist, or just wait it out.
Superman
“I feel like a horrible person but I hate my wife and kids. I resent them that I never get to do anything for myself and they treat me like s*** while I work my a** off to support them.”
“Hate” is a strong word after vowing to “love and cherish.” This dad is overworked, overstressed, and needs to cut out some “me time.” He could even talk to his wife about her getting a part-time job.
The boy is mine
“I hate my wife and her daughter, but I love my son too much to leave her. I figured out she lied about being on birth control, yet my son is the greatest [thing] to happen to me. I’m trapped.”
Divorce or legal separation. Even consult a divorce lawyer to see if you have a case to get full custody of your son (since she lied about the pill). It can’t hurt?
WHAT?! II
“I’m married but always looking for my next wife so I can leave this one. I hate her.”
DIVORCE.
DIVORCE.
DIVORCE.
DIVORCE.
DIVORCE.
DIVORCE.
You don’t need a new wife, just to leave your old one. Are you that incapable of being alone or is it that you don’t know how to care for yourself?
“… in sickness and in health…”
Credit: Marjan Apostolovic/Shutterstock
“Sometimes I resent my wife’s depression because she says it is her job. She has had the same job for 15 years.”
Depression makes you apathetic and unmotivated, so it’s understandable if she’s too scared to leave her job and make the effort to find a new one. Also, if this woman is clinically diagnosed as depressed, then her depression is from more than just her career ― It could even involve her feelings for her husband or a number of variables. I hope she’s getting help for it, whether it’s therapy and/or medication and that he can be supportive or remove himself from the situation. His resentment probably isn’t making anything better.
“Disgusting”
“My wife heavily pregnant. I’m rapidly losing interest in her and find her fat belly disgusting. I also hate that she isn’t working and only cooks some of the time. This is annoying me so much.”
Hey, bozo! A pregnant woman’s belly isn’t “fat,” it’s housing a rapidly growing human being that YOU put in there. What’d you think would happen when you nut into a woman without birth control?
Also, you could, you know, TALK TO HER about these things. Because once that baby comes out, things aren’t gonna get easier for either of you.
Well…
“I can’t stand it when my wife walks in and uses the bathroom while in it. Bathroom time is me time!”
Apparently this husband can’t figure out how to use the lock on the door (or install one). And he’s too scared to even ask his wife to stop coming in while he’s in there? SMH.
$$$
“I hate my wife but I can’t leave her cuz it’s cheaper to keep her.”
Wow. Just wow.
(Pre-nup?)
Just the beginning
“After hating my wife for the past year and having a huge fight about it today, I’ve finally discovered the root of the problem… Me.”
This man gets a chicken dinner. Before you get all #NotAllMen on me, what I’m I’m happy about is that he found the root of his marital issues, not that it’s always the man’s fault. But from there, he and his wife can grow and rebuild their relationship ― or get out before they do something they regret.
People have to keep remembering that a marriage is a 50/50 partnership. It’s perfectly normal to get mad, have arguments, f*** up, and even resent your spouse. But straight up using the word “hate” is brutal, especially if you’re not trying to change anything.
Sitting down calmly and talking out your issues together on a constant basis helps strengthen your relationship and will (hopefully) ease your tension. Holding in your resentment for your partner is not healthy for either of you and will just fester as time goes on.
If you have insurance, couples therapy is a major option because there’s a mediator who will keep you from screaming at each other about petty stuff. If you do not have the resources, there are message boards online where caring strangers going through similar situations can give you insight and advice.
Read more male tears over at Whisper.
SHARE this with couples you know that are having problems.
Original by Chewy Boese