Have you wrestled a cougar yet?
In many ways, American Pie changed Americans forever. Since its release in 1999, it has been low-key “cool” to bang cougars. As the rom-com classic taught us, the term “cougar” refers to middle-aged women on the prowl, so to speak. Who can blame a younger guy for wanting someone with more experience though? Older women are more mature, confident, self-sufficient, wise, and (probably most importantly) have bedroom tricks that are sure to impress.
These cougars of Reddit break down why being they love being cougars and what it’s like to get down with older women.
Hotties For Cougars
I am 49, never married & plus-sized. My 40s was the best sex ever. There is an endless supply of hot, six-packed guys, 25-30yo, dying to be with older, fleshy women. Men i thought would never be attracted to me, athletic, model looks, want sex and even a relationship. I think the age pairing is perfect as we’re both at our sexual peak it seems. [deleted user]
Well, there is generally no pregnancy without medical intervention, so you can just relax and not worry, which is really nice. Also your libido goes ballistic, which is also great. And you stop worrying about whether your ass looks fat at certain angles. Adults are just a whole lot less judgemental and more into simply really enjoying each other. (NZT-48Rules)
When I was 19 I had a f–kbuddy relationship with a 50 year old women with grandkids. Honestly one of the best experiences of my life. 9/10 would repeat. Totally upfront about what she wanted and the psychological connection was there. Physically you can ignore most blemishes once the lights are off. she remains a good friend of mine. (Callingmar11)
That I can scream all I want because my kids are gone and living on their own (Dennis2_)
I’m 45 and I get hornier by the month. I am more turned on by a man’s kindness, humor, and intelligence. My brain has returned to my skull from my vagina.
The highest rate (most increasing rate?) of HPV is in the 65+. Yeah, men have Viagra now, but it also shows older women are super horny. (NCinFinland)
Just a side note; the median age for people to get into swinging is in their mid 40s. (NWBoomer)
Don’t give AF
I feel like for me it has a lot to do with the level of comfort my husband and I have after all these years. We got to know each other over the course of the last 16 years, and we know what we like.
There’s none of the mental stuff that happened when I was young and single- like I know he’s not going to put his pants on and leave after we’re done and only call me when he’s horny. He’s not going to get freaked out because I’m “too wild” or “not kinky enough”. He’s not just in it for himself, and neither am I.
He’s going to mow the yard or make dinner- he’s going to stay here. So am I. We are going to contribute to both of our future happiness and the home we’ve built. We are going to be there for each other to lean on when shit is bad.
As for the actual sex- what’s good is we are not inhibited by any of that other stuff, and we will try anything that makes the other one feel good.
I suppose if I were single, I’d answer similarly in that I’m comfortable with who I am and what I want sexually, and I’m no longer shy about it. I used to be worried about what I looked like or that things I wanted to do would be perceived negatively by a partner, and was pretty inhibited with some partners. That faded in my late 20s, and by the time I was 30, I didn’t care any more. If seeing me do something I enjoyed was going to make a man judge me or not call me again- well, he wasn’t the man for me, so thank you and next please. Then I met this guy who liked everything I was doing and I felt that way about him too- and it stuck. (puss_parkerswidow)
From a Man
Trust me kids most women over 40 are not desperate to get laid, and if they wanted some good sex they would look for a man, not some tweener with a 5 minute boner and some desperate need for self validation or some kind of personal accomplishment .
for us men, When you reach age 40 or 50 ect, you feel just the same about sex as you did when you were 20, only you know what you are doing, what you like, and you dont have dam thing to prove, and you aint in no hurry about it ether (j-shonk)
Not yet in my 40s, but I can tell you sex is definitely better in my 30s than it was when I was in my late teens or 20s. Way less self-conscious about how I look, not afraid to ask for what I like, much more dominant which guys generally seem to really enjoy. (jochi1543)
On the Other Hand
That I don’t want it anymore. This greatly adjusts the power balance between myself and men to my side. They have nothing I want. (calvinnme)
Not a woman but I just want to chime in here and say that in general sex with women over 40 tends to be much much better in my opinion. In my experience they know better what they want and are more willing to have fun with sex rather than being all stuffy about it. my girlfriend let’s me pin her down and ravage her while I wear spiderman glasses. (39thversion)
The good: I’m less self conscious about my body, I’ve had three babies and stretch marks happen. I know my own body and what does it for me and I’m not afraid to say so anymore. I’m also way more adventurous and then I was 20 years ago.
The bad: I have RA so I’ve lost some flexibility and some positions are a no go during a flare. I also don’t have as much patience as I used to for bullshit. Specifically if my partner is not receptive to what I need to climax. If my partner is not willing to communicate with me about what I need and what he needs, then it’s time to go home. I’m not messing up my hair and make up for bad sex. (PM_your_recipe)
You both feel more comfortable in your own skins in bed, warts and all. Communication is easier and richer. You know each other’s bodies so much better. That’s what’s better…
What’s worse is that your respective libidos gradually start to slow down, usually at different rates. That’s what motivates many of the complaints about dead bedrooms.
The trick is to talk about it. Make some compromises: One agrees to sex a little more often than they would prefer, and the other a little less often than they prefer.
If you care for your partner, you must never leave them wanting because idle bedrooms are the devil’s workshop. (Some-Like-It-Hot)
Usually, when I click links to milf porn, it’s because I know they’ll have better curves than the typical porn stars, especially below the waist.
Of course, I’m partial to a fat ass in general.
But your point about “adults are less judgemental” is interesting. Louis C.K. talks a lot about dating and sex at his age, 40+, and how he just knows that his body is shit. It’s comedy, so it’s not intended to be literal, but there’s some truth to that. When you don’t expect the 20-year-old perfect body bullshit, you can just enjoy what you get and have a good time. (Lukavian)
I was 42 when this hot 30 year old guy talked me into going out with him. I fell in love with him on our second date (never happened to me before) and we’ve been together eight years. It just depends on the people involved and how compatible you are. Good luck finding your special person. (NZT-48Rules)
Want more personal stories from cougars? Then check out this Reddit thread.
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Original by Chewy Boese