• About Us
  • Contact Us
  • Latest
  • Terms and Conditions
  • Privacy Policy
The Frisky
  • Home
  • News
  • Health
  • Celebs
  • Movies
  • Love
  • Relationships
  • Style
  • Entertainment
  • Parenting
  • Royals
  • Travel
Relationships

Dealbreaker: The Sexless Guy

by The Frisky August 17, 2019
by The Frisky August 17, 2019 Credit: baranq/Shutterstock
1.5K

I’ve already told you why guys who don’t want head are a dealbreaker for me, but what about guys who just aren’t into sex? Yes, they exist. Anyone who tells you otherwise — that all men are 24/7 sex fiends — is either lying or has just been lucky enough not to meet the kind of guy I’m talking about: the sexless guy.

I’ve dated several guys who, from what I can tell, have a take it or leave it attitude toward sex, with an emphasis on leaving it. Why, you may ask, did I, someone who writes about sex almost every day, wind up with them? I don’t really know, but I did. And the worst part about it is not the physical withdrawal; I’m not the kind of girl who needs to do it every day (though that would be nice).The worst part is the feeling of rejection that cuts really, really close to home. When I experience that, it’s like taking all the fears I have about my attractiveness and boiling them into one pointed barb: you’re not pretty/sexy/fun/cool/hot/exciting enough to f**k.

Credit: klublu/Shutterstock

This used to happen a lot with my ex, and I never got used to it. Every time I hoped we’d wind up in the sack, and we didn’t, I felt like there was something wrong with me. I wondered how often he did it with his ex; surely, since they lived together, they were getting busy all the time. My jealousy spiked like crazy. I was not only upset at the letdown, but hurt, in part because there is still a tiny part of me that thinks that all a woman has to do is offer and a straight guy will want to hop between her legs. When he doesn’t, it must mean she’s totally horrified. My rational self knows it’s more complex than that, but when you care about someone and are attracted to them, rationality goes out the window.

In some ways, I know I’m the twisted one, because I still, on some level, measure my attractiveness with my sexuality. Or at least, indulging in sex feels good, even if it’s with someone I don’t necessarily see as having long-term potential.

This other guy and I went on five extremely chaste dates. At the end, there was maybe a quick peck, possibly a meeting of lips for longer than five seconds, but never any tongue. I was sure he wasn’t into me, but he kept asking me out, and I was totally mystified. Then I read something he’d written saying he was afraid, on some level, of sex, a holdover from a scary sex ed class he’d had. That made it feel less personal, but was still confusing. We wound up having one sleepover date, where we went almost all the way. It was hot, and, I’d hoped, the start of something more, but then things died down between us.

Credit: nd3000/Shutterstock

My biggest issue with The Sexless Guy is that part of what I like about sex is the feeling of being desired, of someone being so hot and horny for me they just can’t control themselves. I don’t mind a little PDA if it means that a guy is so into me he just wants to touch me all the time. With The Sexless Guy, they don’t necessarily hate sex, but they are almost indifferent. I don’t want to be the initiator all the time. Once in a while is fine, but there needs to be a balance. With sexless guys, the average lusty girl (or maybe just me) is left feeling like she’s too interested in sex, which left me feeling somehow sullied and dirty (and yet, not laid). So I’m not exactly about to take out a personal ad saying “Wanted: Guy With Libido,” I hope that’s understood, because I have dated enough sexless guys to last a lifetime.

Original by Rachel Kramer Bussel

dealbreakerlibidorachel kramer bussel
The Frisky

previous post
Where Have All The Sluts Gone?
next post
The Soapbox: On Consent Culture

Related Posts

Decreased Libido in Men: Symptoms, Causes, Solutions

August 31, 2023

Surprising Facts About How CBD Can Boost Libido

March 25, 2021

Sex in Old Age: How Long Can a...

October 14, 2020

Categories

  • Accessories
  • Animals
  • Anime
  • Art
  • Astrology
  • Beard Care
  • Beauty
  • Betting
  • Biography
  • Blog
  • Business
  • Buying Guides
  • Cannabis
  • Cars
  • Casino
  • CBD
  • Celebs
  • Children
  • Citizenship
  • Clippers
  • Clothes
  • Computer
  • Couple Time
  • COVID-19
  • Crime
  • Crypto
  • Culture
  • Design
  • DIY
  • Economics
  • Education
  • Entertainment
  • Environment
  • Family
  • Fashion
  • Featured
  • Food
  • Food & Drink
  • Furniture
  • Galleries
  • Gambling
  • Games
  • Gardening
  • Gifts
  • Girl
  • Gossip
  • Guide
  • Guys
  • Hair
  • Hair Care Tips
  • Hair Dryers
  • Hair loss
  • Hairstyles
  • Health
  • Highlights
  • History
  • Hobby
  • Home
  • Horoscopes
  • Hot Rollers
  • How to …
  • Industry
  • Internet
  • Interview
  • Law
  • Legal Advice
  • Life
  • Lifestyle
  • Love & Sex
  • Love Your Self
  • Makeup
  • Marketing
  • Medicine
  • Mind & Body
  • Money
  • Motorcycle
  • Movies
  • Moving
  • Music
  • Nails
  • Net Worth
  • News
  • Parenting
  • People
  • Pets
  • Photography
  • Products for Hair
  • Real Estate
  • Recipes
  • Relationships
  • Religion
  • Royals
  • SEO
  • Shopping
  • Skincare
  • Sports
  • Studying
  • Style
  • Super Stars
  • Tech
  • Technology
  • The Body
  • Tips
  • Tips & Tricks
  • Tools
  • Toys
  • Travel
  • Type
  • Uncategorized
  • Vape
  • Vehicle
  • Video
  • VR
  • Wedding
Footer Logo
  • About Us
  • Contact Us
  • Latest
  • Terms and Conditions
  • Privacy Policy

© 2024 - All Right Reserved.

TheFrisky.com is a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for sites to earn advertising fees by advertising and linking to Amazon.com. Amazon, the Amazon logo, AmazonSupply, and the AmazonSupply logo are trademarks of Amazon.com, Inc. or its affiliates.

We at TheFrisky participate in various affiliate marketing programs, which means we may earn commissions on products or services that we recommend or promote through our website. When you click on a link to purchase a product or service that we have recommended or promoted, we may earn a commission from the sale. This commission helps us maintain and improve our website and provide you with valuable information and resources.

The Frisky
  • Home
  • News
  • Health
  • Celebs
  • Movies
  • Love
  • Relationships
  • Style
  • Entertainment
  • Parenting
  • Royals
  • Travel
The Frisky
  • Home
  • News
  • Health
  • Celebs
  • Movies
  • Love
  • Relationships
  • Style
  • Entertainment
  • Parenting
  • Royals
  • Travel
© 2024 - All Right Reserved.

TheFrisky.com is a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for sites to earn advertising fees by advertising and linking to Amazon.com. Amazon, the Amazon logo, AmazonSupply, and the AmazonSupply logo are trademarks of Amazon.com, Inc. or its affiliates.

We at TheFrisky participate in various affiliate marketing programs, which means we may earn commissions on products or services that we recommend or promote through our website. When you click on a link to purchase a product or service that we have recommended or promoted, we may earn a commission from the sale. This commission helps us maintain and improve our website and provide you with valuable information and resources.
We use cookies to ensure that we give you the best experience on our website. If you continue to use this site we will assume that you are happy with it.OkNoPrivacy policy

Terms and Conditions - Privacy Policy