Long-distance relationships have their fair share of challenges but none as potentially destructive as jealousy. There is something about not being physically close to a loved one that awakens the green-eyed monster in many of us.
For the most part, a little jealousy is not all that bad. It shows that you care and are fully invested in the relationship. However, there is a very fine line between cute and unhealthy jealousy.
Here are six tips that will help you deal with the jealousy before it gets toxic.
1. Be honest about your jealousy and insecurities
Being jealous does not make you a bad person, so there is no reason for you to feel embarrassed about expressing these feelings to your beau. Opening up helps in a lot of ways. The most important of these is that it allows your partner to reassure you and get rid of any insecurities that you may have.
2. Communicate your expectations
Honest communication is the key to all relationships. Not only does it allow you to deal with jealousy but also completely avoid it. Jealousy and insecurity usually stem from unmet expectations.
Maybe you need your partner to call you a certain number of times per day. It could be that you expect your significant other to keep you updated on all their daily activities. Whatever it is, you need to communicate all of these to your partner clearly.
You should also be upfront about what you expect from each other regarding exclusivity. Is it an open relationship or not? Getting these answers will go a long way towards helping you overcome any doubts or fears that you may have.
3. Do not overthink things
A lot of us are guilty of overanalyzing situations and overthinking relationship matters. Sometimes it isn’t that deep. Maybe he was actually too tired from work to call, or she lost her charger and couldn’t face time you as scheduled. The important thing is to learn your partner’s personality and value system, and it should be easy to avoid sweating all those little things.
4. Figure out where it is all coming from
Jealousy in long-distance or international relationships has a lot of sources. Understanding what is making you feel this way is a very important step when it comes to dealing with the issue. Here, communication comes in really handy again allowing you to speak out about all those small issues you didn’t even realize bothered you.
5. Let past experiences go
One of the most common causes of jealousy when you are dating a foreigner, or someone that lives far from you is trauma from past dating experiences. This is common with people who have been cheated on. You might end up unwittingly projecting all your fears and anger onto your innocent partner. The best way out of this is to acknowledge you were hurt in the past and intentionally strive to let go of the bitterness. You should really get aware of what international dating involves before you make the big jump.
6. Keep yourself busy
An idle mind is a fertile ground for the seeds of jealousy. Sometimes all you need to get rid of the green-eyed monster is a new hobby or fun activity. Go out for drinks with your friends, learn how to paint or even start a collection. If you are sufficiently occupied, you will have no time to overanalyze situations that really don’t need overthinking.