Divorced men advise – things he wishes he knew

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Marriage is a tricky thing. You have to work hard to stay together. When everything fails, you are knocking on the door of a divorce, and that is when reality hits you. You start thinking about all the things you wish you did or knew before everything went south. One of the divorced men out there shared his wisdom about marriage. He wanted to help all the people who want to stay married, so he wrote a post on Facebook explaining everything. Here is what he said.

Keep dating

Even after you got married, you should never stop to date your wife. Saying “I do” doesn’t mean that everything has to change now, for the worse.

Shield your and her heart

You should pay as much attention to her heart as you do to yours. Find joy and love in everything you see and do, but there should always be that particular spot in your heart that only your wife is allowed to stay.

Falling in love

The certain thing is that changes must happen. As the years go by, you and your wife will change, as do will your life. That means that you should always try to win your wife’s affection if you don’t want her to walk away from you.

Don’t change her

You should never try to change her. If you accepted her for the way she is, it should stay like that for the rest of your lives. Even if she shifts a bit, you should understand why it happened and love her no matter what.

Best in her

When you center on one thing, that blows out. So, instead of concentrating on things that you don’t like about her, you should always see the best in her, and focus on the things you love the most about her. That way that will expand, and so will your mutual love for each other.

Don’t blame her for your mistakes

The worst thing that you can do is to blame your wife for something you did. If you are angry or annoyed about something that happened at work, you should take it all out on her. Try to seek her advice for the problems you have, and you should deal with all that negativity that you hold inside by yourself.

Control

It is not on her to make you happy, and she shouldn’t make you sad. You should try to control your negative emotions, and don’t let it grew into a fight.

Be silly

Life is short, and you shouldn’t take it seriously. So allow yourself to be crazy and stupid sometimes, try to relax and laugh, and make her laugh too. Laughter is one of the critical ingredients of a healthy relationship.

Leave her alone

There are times in every woman’s life that she wants to be left alone. If she is feeling annoyed, upset, and even crazy, just let her cope with her emotions on her own. You will only suffocate her if you try to fix the way she feels continuously. What you need to do is to stay on the side while quietly telling her that you are there for her, and to show her your support. If she wants to talk to you, you should let her approach you whenever she feels the need to do so, and never leave the conversation. Make sure she knows that no matter what happens, you will never leave her side.

Be in the moment

You should give your all to her, and whenever she wants to talk to you, you need to erase everything from your mind to stay concentrated on what she has to say or what she wants to speak to you.

Her soul

You should treat your wife like the queen that she is. If you don’t know how to do it, try to see if she can tell you what makes her happy and what fills her heart and soul with joy, and that try to do everything she said daily.

Don’t be a fool

We all make mistakes, and so do you and your wife. You should be scared to show your emotions and act like an idiot from time to time, but you should set boundaries. Don’t be too much of a fool and let your mistakes ruin everything you build. In every error, there is a lesson to be learned, so try and learn everything that can help improve your marriage.

Be a man

Your masculinity is one of the most essential things that you have. Make sure she knows that, make her feel like you are the most powerful man on the Earth, and make sure you give her and share with her all that man inside of her. She needs to trust you.

Vulnerability

Be a man, but be THE man. Every once in a while show that vulnerable side of you. Every woman wants to feel wanted and needed by her man, so if you share with her some troubles that you have and aks her to help her, she will love you even more.

Space

Women are always giving their all to everything and everybody they love. That all can make her feel exhausted and empty sometimes, and you need to give her some space so she can heal in peace. Try to cook sometimes, or to at least clean the dishes or the mess that you and your kid made. That will show her that you care and that you are aware of everything she is doing or you and your family.

Be open

Don’t hide from her. Show her that you trust her by completely opening up to her. Whatever you feel, and you need at the moment, you should be able to tell her. Be fully transparent and don’t be afraid that she won’t love that dark side of you, because she will. That will only show her that you completely trust her when it comes to your emotions, love, and all the bad things that you feel inside.

Growth

Since everybody changes as time goes by, you change too. You should never stop growing, both of you. Try hitting the gym together, or maybe get some additional education. Set your mutual goals and try to achieve them together. That will make your bond grow stronger.

Forgive

You shouldn’t let be sour for a long time. If you argued, you should be able to patch things up in a short time. You should be able to forgive and forget in a moment, or else it will ruin your relationship as all the negative things between you build up.

Money

Money is not the most imperative thing in the world. It is good to have it, but you shouldn’t let that be your primary goal. You should try and earn money together as a team.

Love

Love is the most important thing. If you place love in the first place, that there will be no room for worrying about your relationship or your marriage. That is why you should always choose love!