The path to success is never a straight line. It’s full of failures, detours, and setbacks. There are plenty of tips and advice about how to set and achieve your goals, but practical advice about setbacks is somewhat rare. Sure, there are many nuggets of wisdom about learning from your failures, but failures do take a toll on your motivation.
You set out to achieve a goal. Your motivation and focus create an enormous sense of urgency and relevance for your desire. You put in a massive effort. You are pumped about the progress you are making. Then a setback occurs as it always does in life. Suddenly, your goal seems to be slipping away. Anxiety starts to set in, and you become nervous. “Could I be losing everything that I invested in so much?” you ask yourself. This is an all too familiar pattern for the go-getters. They set out to accomplish goals to be freer, but the very same goals begin to enslave them; they start to become a source of stress.
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Power of Detachment
How do you deal with this? How do take massive action, put in a huge effort, and yet stay immune to failures? Surprisingly, the answer comes from ancient eastern philosophy. One of the tenets of Taoism is detachment; detachment from the results. That doesn’t mean that you don’t care. Quite the opposite, you care and exert an enormous effort towards your goal, but you are not attached to the results.
There are many books about the principles of the Taoism. In fact, Dr Eric Amidi reviews a book that explains the way of Tao in a language most understandable to westerners. One of the concepts, which have seeped from the east to the west, is that “the journey is the destination.” This is very tough for many to put in practice since we live in a goal-oriented society. For the goal-oriented go-getters, the goal is everything – it’s the destination. So, any setback that threatens it undermines everything of value for them. That is the source of stress.
However, if you cherish the process that you have to go through to reach your goals, hurdles along the way will not bother you, because you see them as necessary landmarks along your journey.
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The Psychological Benefits
Detachment from the results has many psychological benefits. The primary benefit of it is the protection of your self-esteem. Those who hinge their self-worth and happiness on their outward accomplishments, suffer blows to their self-esteem, every time they are faced with setbacks. To remain psychologically and even physically healthy, you should separate your self-worth from your desires.
There’s also a practical benefit to valuing your journey. Those who cherish their challenges don’t get worn out. What makes a journey delightful or painful has its roots in your mind more than anything else. How you frame an event is what gives it meaning. Once you treat your challenges as a necessary requirement for your leveling up in the game, they are not painful anymore. You can plow through them and keep moving up to higher success.
As you set your goals and move to achieve them, remember that none of the goals no matter how significant compare to you as an individual. Your happiness should come first, and be not contingent upon your success. Adopt this mindset, and you will be immune to setbacks. You not only will not get tired but also get energized to reach higher levels of success.
