While there’s no one specific way to kiss someone “the right way,” a lot of us could still totally benefit from learning how to kiss someone better. If you’ve ever kissed someone and had them bite your tongue, or use too much tongue or what have you, you know I’m right about this. But even if you’re not a rampant tongue-biter or slobberer, you still might have some less-than-chill habits that could use some curbing. So let’s explore some possible, no-pressure ways that you could get a little better at sucking face. And yes, I called it sucking face because I am 9 years old and that’s fine. We’re all 9 years old, I’m pretty sure.
Generally, you’d think that kissing someone should be intuitive and it largely is, but once you get in your own head, it’s very easy to be like, “Oh shit, am I doing literally any of this well?” So how do you kiss someone well in six easy steps that won’t make your anxiety worse? These steps are a good place to start, but also keep in mind that a big part of kissing well or having great sex just boils down to being connected to your partner and seriously paying attention.
Don’t use so much pressure that it’s like you’re trying to revive them from a drowning accident
It’s normal to be so enamored with someone that you kind of want to punch them in the face with kisses because oh man, they are so great, but also, don’t do that. Try to match each other’s pressure as much as you can. Unless of course you’re both super passionate, intense people who really wanna just rip each other’s faces apart via kissing, in which case, godspeed.
Use your tongue sparingly
Again, to each their own, but generally speaking, most people like a subtle amount of tongue, at least in the beginning. Plus, it’s almost always more fun to be kind of tease-y with how you kiss each other, as opposed to just eating their whole face right out the gate.
Once you start kissing, it can be like eating ice cream for the first time: it’s great and you want to eat it all immediately. But really savoring every single second will help you move slower so it not only lasts longer, but you both fully experience, it instead of rushing through it like you wanna get it over with.
Yes, you can use parts other than your mouth
You can use your fingers to brush their hair back, you can touch the back of their neck, really anything to make it more of a full body experience. Seriously, people who do those things are almost always the best possible kissers on the planet.
Adapt to what they’re doing instead of sticking to your usual plan
If you already feel like a pretty good kisser, it’s easy to be like “I’m gonna kiss you this way because that is my way,” but if they’re going a different direction, at least see where they’re going. Sometimes it’s actually a lot better than what you’re used to.
Don’t be stuck in your head so much
If you possess any kind of anxiety, it’s so freaking easy to be like, “Should I bring my tongue back now? Or in a minute? OK, I’ll wait. Wait, no, are they waiting for me to bring it back or am I waiting for them? What are they thinking right now? Is it about why I’m waiting? Oh god.” Spoiler: that ruins kissing and you probably already know this. Just relax, be in the moment, and know that the other person is super into you (which is so cool) which is why you’re kissing each other (which is so cool).
Original by Lane Moore
