People always strive for friendship and positive relationships. This is as natural a need as food, safety, and water. The higher the social skills of an individual, the more happy and productive he will be. It is essential in any field: personal, professional, and public. For example, a person has a great relationship with colleagues; he or she goes to work with pleasure.
Besides, good relationships give people freedom. It’s much better to focus on opportunities than to spend energy on conflicts. How to make healthy relationships with others? Where to start, and what rules to follow? The beneficial relationship issues are below.
1. Respect your friend’s time
It’s incredible how many people today do not even think about this rule. Remember that whenever you write, call or start a conversation with a person, he may be busy. If it seems like he or she’s wasting time, the person may think over a decision.
Think about how often you neglect communicating with other people. How much time do you devote to others? Do you ignore SMS and messages on social networks because you don’t want to continue the conversation? Perhaps you’re disappointed when your message remains unanswered?
To avoid such situations, first of all, ask if the other person has time to talk. If face-to-face conversation, try to observe the behavior of the interlocutor. If he or she is tense and looks at the time, do not delay the person and find another time to talk.
2. Learn to listen
Most people love to talk, so those who can listen is popular and pleasant. Your task is to become such an interlocutor. Try to speak less. Better give the person talk to yourself. Listen carefully and ask leading questions. The importance of listening skills is hard to overestimate. This skill helps to understand a person at deep levels. Even hear the meaning hidden behind the words.
You should be sincerely interested in what a person wants to say what he feels or wants. Make it a rule to rephrase interlocutor messages for clarification. This will help to understand what the interlocutor wanted to say. Also, you will show that he is heard.
It’s possible that by speaking out, a person will show interest in your affairs. Besides, he will appreciate your attentiveness and find you as a pleasant conversationalist.
3. Keep promises
No one loves those who promise and do not. Learn to keep your word. Everyone is worthy of respect. As well as respect for expectations. The habit of being late or disrupting deadlines spoils relationships with others. People do not take such a person seriously; relatives do not believe words and promises. Remember these rules:
- Always arrive at the appointed time. Exceptions are romantic dates. At such moments, the ladies create a moment of expectation before the meeting. But this does not apply to business meetings, family dinners, etc.
- Keep your word. If you said you would do something, do it. Find opportunities, make efforts, sacrifice time for relaxation, but do it.
And one more thing: use technology. In the end, useful tools will help keep track of promises. Get an organizer and a to-do list, choose gifts to send by courier to save time.
Let’s take an example from the great Keanu Reeves and speak more often to each other, “You’re Breathtaking!” And generally do more compliments to each other. Do not confuse this with flattery.
Compliments are real art. Avoid general and impersonal compliments like “Looking Good.” Praise the specific quality of a person: a sense of style, manicure, erudition. We all have both strengths and weaknesses. So why not focus on positive qualities? Sometimes praise and attention are the best gifts. What will it give in return:
- People will be drawn to such a person.
- This person is associated with pleasant emotions.
- People love those who motivate and encourage.
Moreover, this approach teaches us to see the good in everything and everyone. Fill yourself with positive and give it to others.
5. Don’t strive to be perfect
Simply put, be yourself. Elliot Aronson of the University of Texas has proven that people sympathize with those who sometimes make mistakes. Ideal people, in turn, irritate because of the effect of inaccessibility. This showed an experiment. Students answered questions from the quiz. The participant who gave correct answers, but spilled coffee in the end, won more sympathy. Unlike the one who kept impeccably and did not make any mistakes.
Non-ideality is natural, and this makes all people alike. Do not be shy about your mistakes or shortcomings. This can give a certain charm to the image. This shows that such a person also needs relationship help. It causes people to sympathize, sympathy, and desire to support. Social contacts are an exchange of support and acceptance of each other. Together with the mistakes and shortcomings of each.
Don’t forget that around you is a whole world of people, things, and events. Thus, you should not lock yourself in the usual circle of friends – school friends or colleagues. Try to seek new people and devote more time to those who bring you closer to your goals. Famous writer Charlie Jones, author of Life Is Tremendous, said: “The only difference between who you are and who you will be in a year is the books you read and the people you meet.”
To expand the professional circle of communication will help thematic events. You can find announcements of such events near you on the Internet. Another right way to start growing socially is to find a mentor or mentor. It’s amazing how many successful people are willing to share their experience and knowledge. The natural need of a person is not only to receive but also to give. Choose from your friends the person whom you respect and value. Tell him about it and ask him to spend some of his time with you regularly. For example, it may be a meal once every 3-4 weeks. And start learning from him, absorb his knowledge and experience.
People love positive and smiling people. Look at the actors who always smile. For example, Dwayne Johnson, Jason Momoa, or Omar Si. These guys know how to attract. And the secret is not in impressive appearance. They always sincerely smile, infecting those around them.
Try to make a smile a familiar expression. Think about the pleasant, read, and watch actual content, have fun. Before meeting someone, imagine that it will be a meeting with a good friend you have not seen for more than a year.
8. Keep in touch
Let’s be honest. What are you doing to keep in touch with all the people you meet in life? Or at least with the most interesting and useful ones. There is a beautiful rule that even serious top managers use. They know a lot about networking. The government is this: every week, choose one person for whom you can do something useful:
- To help in solving some issues.
- Introducing someone.
- Share experience and knowledge.
- Help want birthday gifts.
- Treating dinner, after all.
Just imagine: doing this once a week, in a year you will get 50 people with whom relations have improved. Isn’t it great? At the same time, try to do this sincerely and wait for nothing in return. According to the practice of socially active people, the reward is coming soon. And more than once.
There is another relationship advice. If you’re invited to an event, bring a person with whom you haven’t seen for a long time and who would be interested in the topic. He or she will be happy, and this will give occasion to talk. Another method is business breakfasts or dinners.
9. Don’t sacrifice yourself
Some people are ready to fulfill any whims of other people, sacrificing time and effort. All for the sake of approval, praise, and goodwill. This is fundamentally the wrong position. Of course, everyone wants to be in demand. But some people abuse this desire.
Any relationship is a two-way street: please, but make sure people do it in response. Make gifts everyone needs, but accept gifts too.
Strive for a healthy balance of commitment and selfishness. Do not sacrifice yourself only for fear of loneliness. Sometimes it’s better to be single for some time than to give energy and time to another person in vain.
These principles work in every way: professional, family, and romantic. Psychologists have created a right relationship formula. These are relationships in which human needs are satisfied. And above all, the need for self-esteem and self-affirmation. In fact, for this, a person must respect and accept others. As well as himself.
Thus, open up to the world, give gifts remembered, attend events, and get acquainted. This is guaranteed to bring results.
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