Introducing Bigfoot Erotica

Let me just preface this by saying that if you get off on dinosaur erotica like, Ravished By The Triceratops, we’re not judging. Someone must be reading because author Christie Sims is amassing a small fortune from her catalogue of dino porn titles. Apparently, she’s not the only person getting rich by writing about horny beasts and lusty babes. Just a peek into the dark corners of Amazon and you’ll find a slew of ebook titles about women having sex with every kind of mythological creature — from Frankensteins to leprechauns.

According to The Daily Beast, cryptozoological erotica writer Virginia Wade makes a cool $30,000 a month (!) penning an Amazon Kindle series called Cum For Bigfoot. Volume One’s description is as follows:

“On a weeklong outing in Mt. Hood National Forest, what begins as a flirty, fun-filled trip soon turns into a nightmare, when an ape-like creature kidnaps a group of teen girls with the purpose of procreating with them. Thus begins the erotic adventure of a lifetime, and an inconceivable love story between a young woman and her horny Sasquatch.”

Spoiler alert. It includes graphic descriptions of Bigfoot’s package:

“From within the tufts of matted hair, the creature released a huge pale cock that defied logic…He stroked his cock, while I continued to lave his balls, taking one and then the other in my mouth.”

That’s really. Wow. And now I’m wondering, if Bigfoot’s cock “defied logic,” how big were the balls she was laving in her mouth? No. I really can’t go there.  I’m still wrestling with the word “lave.”