Ronda Rousey Is Wrong, Lube Is Awesome

Wendy Stokesby:

Love & Sex

Ronda Rousey may be a badass MMA fight who dominates the UFC, but she gives less than stellar sex advice. Maxim enlisted Rousey as their resident advice columnist, answering reader queries about sex and dating, and while some of her advice is fine enough – sure, I suppose it would be good for every guy to have a go-to pancake recipe — her expertise dried up when it came to what men should and should not do in bed. Ahem:

What should a guy always do? Take his time. In general, a girl takes a minute. He needs to get her ready. You should never need lube in your life. If you need lube, then you’re being lazy…and you’re not taking your time.

On one hand, Rousey is absolutely right that men shouldn’t rush or scrimp on foreplay, especially because women usually take longer to orgasm (if they’re going to, that is). And besides, what’s the hurry? But her assertion that you shouldn’t need lube unless you’ve been lazy is woefully incorrect on a multitude of levels. How wet a woman gets before and during sexual activity varies from person to person, and is dependent on all sorts of factors, including where she is in her menstrual cycle, changes in hormone levels, certain medications, etc. Yes, sexual arousal does generally cause the vagina to produce its own natural lubrication, but how lubed up a gal gets runs the gamut.

But you know what? No matter how naturally lubed up your vag may get, ADDING MORE WETNESS WITH LUBE NEVER HURT ANYONE. There is no reason not to, frankly. The wetter you are, the better sex feels for both partners. Seriously, the idea that lube is ONLY used as a solution for vaginal dryness, or as a cheat for guys who are too lazy for foreplay, or to make butt sex not screamingly painful, is a fallacy. Lube does come in handy for those reasons, sure, but that’s because it enhances sex across the board.

The worst part is, this “advice” sends the message that women’s bodies are all the same and respond to stimulation in the exact same way, which has negative consequences for both men and women. It instills shame in women, who may think there is something wrong with them if they don’t produce a lot of natural lubricant, while also discouraging them from using a product that could help by stigmatizing lube as something only lazy guys want to use. Meanwhile, it teaches men to view women’s arousal as uniform, which ultimately discourages communication between sex partners about what does and does not feel good – and that basically guarantees THE WORST SEX EVER.

I can only assume that Ronda Rousey has either never used lube before OR has only used it with guys who have not been mindful of her arousal and enjoyment – but that’s not the lube’s fault. Lube isn’t going to turn terrible sex into amazing sex, but it will make good sex feel great. The wetter the better, Rousey, come on! [Maxim]

Original by Amelia McDonell-Parry @xoamelia

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