In my opinion, relationships are all about honesty, trust, and communication. Your someone special should be your best friend—he/she should be someone who knows your inner most darkest secrets. I know for me, in relationships, I want my partner to know everything about me. I’d never want anyone to think they would be able to tell my bae anything that I haven’t already told him. But not everyone is cut from that type of cloth.
A Redditor posed the question, “What will you NEVER share with your SO?” Both men and women rushed to the comment section and dished on what they’d dare not to share with their partners. While some talked about light things like toothbrushes and straws, a bunch of people dug deeper. From pity dates, to being in love with their SO’s sibling, to suicide attempts, these are the major secrets men and women have kept from their partners.
1. That when I married her I didn’t actually have any emotional attachment to her. My antidepressants took away ALL emotions I had, so mostly married her because I was afraid if I didn’t, I would be alone my whole life. I stopped taking them years ago now and can honestly say I do love her with all my heart, but there was little to no emotion in the initial decision. (ktron42)
2. I am pregnant and recently discovered that two small pale freckles on my torso are actually accessory nipples. This became apparent and indisputable when they grew, darkened and started lactating a tiny bit. They are still not huge – went from sesame seed sized to grain of rice sized – so it is not obvious unless you know what you are looking for. I know my husband either (a) won’t be able to handle it or (b) will handle it by never letting 6 hours go by for the rest of my life without laughing hysterically in my face about this.
Therefore, I will never tell him. (FakeBabyAlpaca)
3. That she had lipstick on her teeth during our wedding vows. I remember thinking during that moment, “Huh, so this is the secret I will take to my grave.” (monocledfalc0n)
4. What my sister’s ex husband said about him. He used to make fun of my husband (to my sister, not to my or my husband’s face) questioning his masculinity, calling him a girl’s name and repeatedly told my sister that they had to do something before I married him – that they had to find me a real man. My husband is stereotypically manly in a physical way (think tall and hairy) but is also gentle, softly spoken, emotional and empathetic. And apparently that makes him less manly in my sister’s ex husband’s eyes.
Well, f*ck you Kim. All the things you ridiculed about my husband are why I love him and what makes him an amazing husband. And maybe if you had realised the value of those traits you would have been a better husband yourself, instead of an abusive arse-wipe.
I’ve never told my husband any of this as I think it would crush him. But I still feel rage about it everytime I come into contact with my sister’s ex. (Allthefoodintheworld)
5. Not me, but I have a cute story to share with y’all:
My friend (let’s call him Tom) had a HUGE crush on this girl (let’s call her Dana.) Dana was drop-dead gorgeous, and I say this as a straight girl- everyone either wanted to date her or be her. Tom was super shy, and he was working up the nerve to ask her out for weeks (he’d been asking me a million times things like what girls liked or where they liked to go, and kept trying to get me to be a wing-girl which was hard because Dana and I hardly knew each other.)
Well, one day Tom and I are at the park doing something for a traiathalon that was happening, and Dana shows up. Tom finally has the nerve to ask her out. He walks up to her and she turns around. Surprise- it isn’t Dana. It’s her usually-quiet, barely seen older sister (let’s call her Rose.) And she looks like she’s gonna pass out.
So Tom gets her into the shade with a bottle of water and some crackers and offers to call a doctor, but she declines. He sits and talks to her for a while, and they agree to meet up again.
One thing led to another, and now they’re married and they’re the cutest thing I’ve ever seen. But he won’t ever, ever tell her that the reason they met was because he tried to ask out her sister.
6. This one really hits home. My ex would tell me the horrible things her family would say about me frequently and it hurt beyond belief. It really sucked because of how backwards and uninformed they would be in their comments about my character and intentions. I was left suffering through hard bouts of anxiety for the better part of a year during the relationship as well as having lasting effects once the relationship was ended for more than another year. I couldn’t help taking every single comment to heart and it broke me. I listened because she needed to vent but I couldn’t shake that burden for a long time. (KingRageXIII)
7. I beat off in her shampoo before divorcing her. She cheated and blew my savings while I was deployed. (TaylorSwift_Eats_Ass)
8. The number of ex partners, their names, and/or frequency of relations.
They might not care at first but, man, that information sits with your SO and festers like no other. (Occums_Chainsaw)
9. The really weird fetishes. The man was uncomfortable when I asked him to slap me, he feels like the greatest sexual deviant in history for having a threesome. Our sex life is great, but I’m never bringing up the really fucked up shit. (FerretsRUs)
10.That my previous ex was pregnant and took pills to have an abortion. Regret it, but still feel it was the right decision at the time. (xcpain93)
11. That I’ve had a few suicide attempts. Nobody else needs that kind of weight in their life. (zapizoid)
12. The only reason we matched on Tinder is because I swiped right on 20 guys straight no matter what they looked like because I was bored. He ended up being one of the 20 and I went on a “pity date” with him because he isn’t the best looking but was fun to talk to. I didn’t think I would actually fall for him. But we ended up hitting it off incredibly well and became official not too long after 🙂 (crispiicrunch)
13. A pretty depressing one – been with my SO for close to 18 years now, I got her out of an abusive relationship and supported her in all aspect of her life.. our sex life started really good and as you do, you sometime tease and exposes yourself to your SO – part fun and part hoping that it will lead to getting sugar.. About 8 years into our relationship, whenever I do the above, she will either laugh at me.. or just pretend it wasn’t worth her while and walk off.. after probably on and off 6-7 years of this.. I got a low self sexual esteem that physically, I am not good enough for her.. Now – she wants more sugar from me and psychologically.. I can’t finish anymore.. have not been for the past probably 4 years now. After I get her off, I always put it off as getting cramp (I’m a gym junkie) or tired etc and lie about how I can’t cum.. Have never told her she’s basically have f*cked up my head sexually. (PuppieWayne)
14. How depressed I actually am; that I’ve tried to kill myself twice in the past, that I live day to day and some days I can’t think of anything but wanting to end my life and others I just do things to distract myself from thinking about it.
It’d crush her and my parents if I told them how bad things are and I’m terrible at voicing things so I’d probably mess up when trying to tell them anyway.
Been this way for years and just started medication last october with no success with the medications I’ve tried so far, and been passed along twice so far with 2 different therapists and they’ve now passed me up the chain for a full mental health evaluation and medication management team so fingers crossed they can work out which wires are plugged in wrongly in my brain and what medication will actually help! (Fegaz)
15. About a year ago I was in San Diego for business and rented a beach house in Mission Beach for our stay. One of the guys in our group noticeed that there were a bunch of middle aged women staying in the unit under us. They were there for a Bachelorette party. He was talking to them and came back upstairs and said he just agreed to strip for them. My gay friend and I were pretty drunk as well so we decided to join. So we put our uniforms and did the worst strip they could have asked for. We all had a blast but I would never tell my wife that story. (ImNotEvenJewish)
Original by Ashlee Miller