I have never met a woman who thought she was bad in bed. I have known plenty of women who can rattle off an impromptu, critical dissertation on the carnal failings of most men. “He didn’t get me off.” “He treated my nipples like Xbox control sticks.” “He came before his pants were off.” No, […]
My boy bestie, our own Mind of Man John DeVore, wrote a hilarious piece for GuySpeak.com called “You Might Be A Player If …” directed at dudes. Like: You might be a player if … you own as much leather as you do denim. And you wear your sunglasses on your head like a tiara. You might […]
An objective, partially superficial analysis of women’s magazines like Glamopolitan has led me to form the following conclusions: If you don’t learn the 456 sex tips, he will cheat on you. You’re not fat, girl! But here’s a diet to try! You date nothing but losers—and therefore have an insatiable appetite for articles about men being losers. […]
Recently, it has come to my attention that there are women out there curious about the self-love habits of the male species. (Specifically, a Frisky staffer who will probably get angry if I give her a shout-out in this post.) Since I have opined about female masturbation, it seems only fair that I pontificate on the mysteries of men […]
Men are a mystery, like who built the pyramids? No one knows. What would happen if you got your man flowers or wrote him a love letter? No one knows. So don’t do it. (But men, if you’re reading this, please buy the woman in your life flowers and write love letters because women are […]
The other day, some guys and I were chillaxing in my pal Josh’s sweet hot tub doing what guys do which is hang out and be real and we were discussing “innocent” girls versus “wang-hungry she-beasts.” Across the board, the guys agreed they prefer an “innocent” woman, like a nun or a coma patient or […]
Women always seem to ask me where all the good men are, as if these near-mythical dudes are hiding behind bushes, chained up in some vampire’s basement, or are just rare and elusive, like the snow leopard. Normally, I have to resist responding, “Maybe the good guys are just avoiding you.” But the answer to […]
I don’t think I have a small penis. I mean, I’ve stared at it all of my life. I can wrap my fingers around it, so I know it’s not of Sasquatch proportions. There are inches there, multiple inches, of love. I’d say it would make a nice cigar. I have been given the standard […]
On the episode of “Broad City”— Abby hooked up with her hot, bearded, woodworking, homebrewing neighbor Jeremy, and was somewhat shocked to discover that his idea of “switching it up” entailed pegging him in the ass. This gave me the excuse I needed to repost one of my favorite articles ever on The Frisky, John […]
