You’re paying hundreds of dollars a night to escape from your lumpy mattress and your cranky neighbors and your mold-stained shower that you don’t feel like cleaning and your pile of laundry that you’re actively trying to avoid. That’s what vacations are for: getting the hell away from reality. And while you’re kiddying up all […]
Recently, Ami and I were talking and she asked if I could help her get her funny back. If you read this site, you know that Ami is usually a very funny person, so her question came as a bit of a shock. “You lost your funny?” I said. “When? How? Where?” “Well, I came […]
Okay, so sometimes we fib a little bit when we’re dating a guy. Not about the big stuff — like our name or what we do for a living. It’s not that we mean to be dishonest, it’s just that our politeness, insecurity or desire to dazzle get in the way of the truth. And […]
Men, bless them. They love to think about us masturbating, at least the way they think we masturbate based on porn they’ve seen. If only they could be a fly on the wall when we’re actually pleasuring ourselves. Everything they thought to be true would be rocked. My average self-love sessions are performed without fanfare. […]
So, you’re naturally a screamer whose partner has to put a pillow over your mouth when you’re having an orgasm. You’ve probably resented this at some point, because when you’re cumming, instead of reveling in pleasure, you’re thinking about who heard you and thought you were getting your organs harvested against your will. Your loudness […]
I think if Carl Jung was alive, he would call Reddit a sieve for the collective unconscious. Or something like that. Because I’m a total Jungian, I like to spend time on Reddit researching the state of our collective psyche. Not that I need to justify being a Reddit junkie or anything. OK. I’m a […]
I moved last month, which means a new apartment, a new neighborhood, and most importantly, a new mailman, whom I already have a huge crush on. He’s, like, a totally Portland-y bearded hipster mailman, and my office window affords me an excellent view of a few blocks of his route, which leads me to text […]
“Double, double toil and trouble, fire burn and cauldron bubble.” You are probably envisioning a bunch of warty, green-faced witches with broomsticks and pointy, black hats huddled arounds a cauldron casting a spell, right? I guess we can thank Shakespeare’s Macbeth for that. This image of the witch has become so intertwined with Halloween, but has […]
The first thing you need to know is that I didn’t start masturbating until the age of 17. I’d gone through the ol’ puberty at 12 – I’d felt the universal stirrings down below – but it took me that extra five years to work out what I ought to do about it. Had I […]
