Here is a picture of Donald Trump and his daughter, Ivanka Trump, “perched atop two concrete parrots having sex.” (Tim Ireland’s description, not my mine, but, like, those parrots are def having sex.)
There is so much going on here. I’m writing from my parents’ house today, and, as my mom pointed out, “Maybe if she was just sitting on his lap, but the chin cupping?!?”
If actually putting “incest” in the headline seems intense, know that Donald Trump thinks his daughter is so, so hot. Consider this disturbing bit from last September’s issue of Rolling Stone:
At 69, he can still carry on like the teen who was yanked out of prep school and delivered to Col. Dobias, the take-no-shit instructor at the military academy. After I met Ivanka and praised her to her father, he said, “Yeah, she’s really something, and what a beauty, that one. If I weren’t happily married and, ya know, her father . . . ”
Also, while promoting The Apprentice on The View in 2006, he said, “If Ivanka wasn’t my daughter, perhaps I’d be dating her.”
I don’t know if you guys have ever seen the 1994 Katherine Heigl film My Father The Hero, but this is pretty much exactly the same thing. Katherine pretends to date her dad played by Gérard Depardieu — who could both kind of be doppelgängers for Ivanka and Donald whenever the pic was taken — and they are also at a caribbean resort! Although, at one point, Katherine wears a thong onesie in front of Gérard, so at least there has, thus far, been none of that.
Original by Lauren Duca @laurenduca
