Health.com has released a list of “10 Careers with High Rates of Depression,” among them the artists, writers, entertainers category: “In men, it’s the job category most likely to be associated with an episode of major depression (nearly 7% in full-time workers).” So what are jobs a potential male mate may have that could spell trouble for you down the line? Find out after the jump.
Pros: He’s creative! He has feelings and isn’t afraid to express them! He is always around tinkering in his studio, fiddling with his latest novel draft, or working on that kinetic sculpture.
Cons: His paycheck—wait, he doesn’t get a paycheck. He cries more than you do. He’s prone to disappearing into his work for hours, make that days, make that years.
Conclusion: If you’re looking for stability, go out with Ted from financial services.
2. Cop/Bouncer/Military Contractor
Pros: If anyone tries to mess with you, he will smash them into a pulp. He can carry you over his shoulder and forget you’re there. He is a man, not an emo boy.
Cons: His high-stress job stresses him out. He will never write you a sonnet. He works crazy hours/shifts, and you never know when you’ll see him.
Conclusion: It could work, but only if you’re willing to put your back into it.
3. Waste management/Sewer Maintenance/Garbage Pickup
Pros: Not afraid to get his hands dirty. Steady paycheck: check. It keeps him busy, and this means he cherishes his time off—with you.
Cons: Smelly prior to after-work bathing. Back problems. A little rough around the edges.
Conclusion: For women who don’t give a crap what other people think.
4. CEO/Wall Streeter/Businessman
Pros: Looks good in a suit. Can balance your paycheck with his eyes closed. Buys you stuff.
Cons: Has a predilection for champagne, hanging with his bros over hanging with his hos, and is rather prone to the acquisition of material objects.
Conclusion: If you’re a Charlotte: yes. If you’re a Carrie: no.
Pros. Has lots of free time. Not stressed out by work demands. Unlikely to be having an affair with the office administrative assistant.
Cons: You pay—for everything. Suffers from crushing lack of self-esteem. Makes your father want to tear his out his eyeballs.
Conclusion: Acceptable if temporary situation in challenging economy. As a lifestyle, unacceptable.
Pros: Easy on the eyes. Knows all the best places to get waxed, tweezed, and tanned. A true professional in the sack.
Cons: Impossible to get any mirror time. Sexual contact with other women, possibly professionally, sometimes for money. STDs?
Conclusion: Ideal for cougars. Impossible otherwise.
7. Insurance Agent/CPA/Accountant
Pros: Reliable. Trustworthy. Deeply familiar with risk determination.
Cons: Boring. Won’t stop talking about latest tax revisions. Wears pleated khakis.
Conclusion: Better than the rent boy, but she must be able to tolerate protracted discussions of the weather to make it last over the long haul.
8. Rock Star/Spiritual Leader/Zealot
Pros: Charismatic. High-strung. Capable of winning over large numbers of people through oratory skills.
Cons: Polemical. Possesses plaster cast of own penis. Keeps running off on missions to war-torn countries.
Original by Susannah Breslin