1.1K
Am I older than you? Hard to say. Seeing as I don’t know how old you are. But let’s assume the answer is: Probably. Now that I have been alive these many years, I have some words of wisdom to share. Helpful? Who knows. Note what fits and discard the rest. In the end, life’s a bit of a crap shoot. Or maybe it’s like a box of chocolates. Today, it’s a listicle.
- Families are weird.
- Just say no to college loans.
- Your experiences are the only thing you will remember with any clarity.
- What doesn’t kill you scares the crap out of you.
- If you are trying to get somewhere, you never will.
- Girlfriends last longer than boyfriends.
- Stop watching so much TV.
- Sexually, try and stay in the single to double digits.
- Regret is baggage that doesn’t belong to you.
- If you smile, your brain will think you are happy.
- Get the whole education thing over with early.
- The longer you can go without being arrested the better.
- If you can’t fart in front of him, you can’t possibly marry him.
- What matters today will be totally forgotten 24 hours from now.
- Boredom is death.
- You can’t outrun your childhood.
- Debt is like herpes: do not want.
- Marriage asks you to sacrifice yourself for the common good.
- Laughter is the best medicine, but gin is nice, too.
- Men are mysterious.
- It’s never too early or too late to reinvent yourself.
- Sex is totally important and not important at all.
- Divorce is survivable.
- Children know more than you do.
- There is nothing better than being in love, not even money.
Original by Susannah Breslin