Masturbation isn’t a very sexy word. But despite its poor branding and marketing, self-lovin’ gets us all (hopefully) to the big O. So, rather than harp on the weird choice of word, like vagina (not the best work of the English language), why not try one of these ridiculous euphemisms for “dancing with myself”? Hey, they might inspire you to come up with more, uh, nicknames.
1. Taking the flute to band camp
2. Stuffing the pink taco
3. The five knuckle shuffle
4. Petting My Little Pony
5. Rub one out
Source: thoughtcatalog
6. Cleaning out the cobwebs
7. Yodel In the Canyon
8. Turn the knob
9. Tampering with the smoke detector
10. Buffin’ the muffin
Source: cosmopolitan
11. Turning myself into a hand puppet
12. Basting the turkey
13. Practicing
14. Self-service
15. Flying solo
Source: cosmopolitan
16. Feeling slap happy
17. Watering the flower
18. Priming the pump
19. All hands on deck
20. Cure for boredom
Source: healthywaymag
21. Tickle your fancy
22. Thumb a ride
23. Paddling the pink canoe
24. Preheat the oven
25. Staying in with BOB (battery operated boyfriend)
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