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People And The Objects They Have Sex With: Laundry Basket
Source: The Frisky
On a recent episode of “In The Bedroom With Dr. Laura,” sexually dissatisfied wife Becky admitted that the only way she can get off is by humping the corner of her laundry basket, which she’s had since college. She even confessed to preferring the basket her husband Steve’s really “large” penis. There’s no denying that clean laundry is sexy as hell, but it’s clear that her feelings for the laundry basket run deeper than that.
Pillow
Source: The Frisky
The Berlin Wall
Source: Dreamstime
Steel Pipe
Source: Shutterstock
A 40-year-old man in the U.K. got his penis sufficiently stuck in a steel pipe while trying to make love to it. He had no choice but to call emergency services to rescue his member. I’m wondering what the operator’s reaction to hearing the words “My penis is stuck in a steel pipe!” was?) He was initially taken to the ER, but doctors were unable to operate on him because the restricted blood flow. With the steady hands of seven firefighters, it took 30 minutes and a metal grinder (arrrgghhh!) to free his bruised and battered willy. I wonder if he still has feelings for the pipe after it hurt him so? [Newser]
The Eiffel Tower
Source: Really Channel – UKTV
Vacuum Cleaner
Source: Co-op Superstores
A Polish hospital worker was caught having a quickie in the break room with his beloved vacuum cleaner. His excuse? Oh, he said he was vacuuming his underwear. Didn’t you know that’s a common practice in Poland? Yeah right. But seriously, that sounds dangerous. [The Sun UK]
Truck
Source: Mnews
Unable to feel aroused by men, Maria Griffin married her truck on Valentine’s Day. And, apparently, their sex life is amazing! Just how exactly do they have sex? I am so curious. Anyhow, I guess it’s none of my business. I’m really happy for them. They make an adorable couple. Just goes to show, you never know when true love is going to roll into your life. [Kitten Meat]
Lamp Post
Source: led.istmein
A UK man was arrested when children witnessed him getting frisky with the light of his life, a lamp post. Would it be in bad taste for me to make a joke about him being a lamposexual? [Telegraph]
Picnic Table
Source: ArchiExpo
Ohio man, Art Price Jr., was arrested after he was caught having repeated trysts with a metal picnic table in the park. He was caught on tape completely nude, engaging sexually with a hole in the center of the table intended for an umbrella. He should have brought it back to his place instead. [Fox]
Roller Coaster
Source: 24ur
Bicycle
Source: Surly Bikes
