As someone who’s not a big fan of receiving oral sex, when a man goes down on me I tend to think about all the other things I could or should be doing: Did I email my editor? Will I have time to do laundry after this? I wonder if Law & Order is a repeat this weekend?
This has nothing to do with the men I’ve been with, and everything to do with the fact that it’s just not my thing. I’d much, and I mean much, rather give than receive. For me, even when cunnilingus is great, I’d still rather be doing something else.
Since women are obviously having some pretty deep thoughts — or at least some thoughts when men go down on them — what are men really thinking when they’re giving us oral? You’ve always wanted to know, right?
Source: The Local Germany
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1. What should I do with my hands?
“I always wonder what I should do with my hands. Do I wrap my arms around her legs? Touch her boobs? Touch her clit? What about her stomach? That’s usually what I think about while trying to pretend I’m totally focused on satisfying her.”
2. Where should I put my tongue?
“Where to put my tongue is something I think about a lot. It’s not that I don’t know where things are, but some women like their clitoris to be licked, others prefer to licked inside, and maybe some anal licking, so I kind of feel things out and listen to her moans for a clue.”
3. Am I doing a good job?
“I think about when she’s going to finally grab my hair. I love that and it’s a sign that I’m doing a good job.”
4. Pie recipes.
“Depends on the woman. Often, I find myself thinking, ‘I wish my tongue were a snake so I could slither through her body and massage her heart.’ Most other times, I think about pie recipes, because pie tastes good, when p*ssy so often tastes like oysters left in the summer sun.”
Source: Daily Mail
5. Nothing at all.
“I try not to think about anything. I just try to be a machine, because if I think at all, I’ll over-think. And before I know it, I’ll be wondering if I paid my last phone bill on time.”
6. Why don’t they teach a class in this?
“The p*ssy is a strange and amazing place, and I don’t know any man who doesn’t love doing it but also isn’t nervous about it. Because of that, I usually spend at least some of my time down there wondering why there’s no class you can take on how to be perfect at it.”
7. I think only about her and what I’m doing.
“I’m thinking about giving the most pleasure I can because I like to know I’m making her feeling good. So, I listen to her noises, pay attention to her body, and just focus on the moment. Isn’t that what every guy should think?”
Original by: Amanda Chatel
