Being in an impulsive, drama-filled relationship with a 20-something girl can be exciting for a while, but sooner all later, almost all men will look for that serious, stable and grown-up relationship with a real woman. Whether they decide to pursue her on a free cougar dating website or meet her at the gym, all men will at one point or another go for a cougar.
And since I’ve gone through at least a dozen relationships with mature ladies, it’s only fair that I share my knowledge and findings with the rest of the world to the best of my ability. In that regard, here are the 7 things I learned from dating mature women.
1. Keeping Score
Although I was pretty much convinced that a couple, whether a husband and wife or just two people having a serious relationship, was supposed to keep tabs on each other, now I know that reality isn’t so black-and-white.
As it turns out, not a lot of older women will go out of their way to make a mental list of every single thing you did wrong. Moreover, a mature lady will rarely bring up your honest mistake as leverage for her point.
2. Sacrificing Other Relationships
You know how when you just start a relationship with a girl in her 20s who falls head over heels for you, she just channels 100% of her time and energy into you and your relationship while spending little to no time with her family and friends? Well, a mature woman will never do that.
If you’re in a serious relationship with a real woman, you can expect her to behave exactly the same way as she did before. No mature person, woman or otherwise, will write off their friends and family just for the sake of being with their new boyfriend.
3. Financial Dependence
As a part of dating a girl in her 20s comes the possibility of her suddenly becoming financially dependent on you. With mature women, however, that rarely happens.
Serious women already have built careers based on the education they have behind them, meaning that they most likely have a job, that they’ll probably stay on that job and even if something happens, they can always find a new one. On the other hand, nobody can guarantee that for a person in their 20s.
One thing we men have to remember about being in a relationship with a mature woman is that these ladies will never, ever give up their self-respect, regardless of the circumstances. Younger girls will do a lot of questionable things to achieve something much more often than mature ladies, so don’t expect your 38-year-old girlfriend or wife to do something like that.
It all comes down to principles. Mature women generally have completely formed personalities, so it’s very rare to see them stepping out of their usual behavioral patterns. And if she has character (which is most likely the case), she will never stoop to a lower level just so that a goal of hers gets fulfilled.
Independence is something mature women appreciate dearly. This includes being independent to live, breathe, go places and do things without her significant other, regardless of how much she loves him.
If you’re in a relationship with a cougar, for example, and she doesn’t seem like she always wants to know where you’ve been or what you’ve been up to or it seems like she’s not telling you every single detail from her day, it doesn’t mean that something is wrong – she just understands that both of you are fully functional humans that don’t need to report about their activities to anyone.
6. The Age Gap
If there was one thing I thought was impossible to ignore in a relationship with a cougar, it would be the ever-present age gap. No matter what I did, no matter how much I clicked with any of the mature women I dated before, the fact that she was older than me somehow always floated above my head.
The trick, as I found out the hard way, is to embrace the gap. I’m not saying you should openly talk about how old your lady is, but to understand what it means and act accordingly. Don’t expect her to want to go clubbing with you because she won’t expect you to want to go see a movie with her and her girlfriends.
7. Subtlety All the Way
Even though mature women are generally much more “straight to the point” than younger girls, there’s no rule that says us men shouldn’t be subtle about certain things when dating them.
For example, I’ve noticed that compliments have a much better effect on a cougar when wrapped in a cute package compared to outright telling her she’s beautiful or amazing. Instead of doing the expected, I found that mature women are very, very appreciative when presented with a modern and body-tight piece of clothing or when invited to an event generally attended by younger people.
Have you dated a mature woman before? What was it like? You can tell us all about it in the comments below!