It’s tempting to jump into relationships when we meet someone we believe is wonderful. But if it takes a few months to begin gauging someone’s character, and two to three years to truly know them, we are setting ourselves up for disaster if we commit too soon. Here are nine essential questions to help guide us.
1. How well do I know him/her?
Don’t trust someone until you know them. Oh! How we miss this one. A lot.
“But our friends introduced us.” It doesn’t matter. Anyone can wear masks. The best way to know someone is this:
1) Spend time with them while they’re with their family.
2) Listen to the words they say to you.
3) Observe them in a variety of circumstances.
Not watching them interact with their family is one of the worse mistakes we’ve made in our post-1920s western dating culture. For some reason, “Meet the parents” has become the last step before planning the engagement.
What kind of family does he/she come from? That was their foundation and upbringing until they left home. No matter how far we travel, those development years left a huge impression on who we are, and who we’re likely to resort back to when we’re older.
2. Can I trust them with my secrets?
If they share your private conversations with others, walk away or have a serious discussion about that issue. If you don’t take care of it now, you’ll only resent them later.